If Polish-Briton author Joseph Conrad had lived in Kenya, I suspect he would have had much inspiration for his works. He did after all say that ‘Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with men.’
I suffer the said men, especially in my line of work. The social-cultural setting in Kenya, it would appear, has bred pseudo misogynistic men who are far too oblivious or self-involved to recognize their offensive nature.
Allow me to explain. As a professional woman, one who is qualified for a job I am paid to do, I find it offensive when, in the elevator, or at my desk, you walk up to me and tell me how sexy I look. What happened to good morning? How is your day? Good to see you? Anything but that awkward faux compliment which is really you reducing me into some kind of visual tease.
Then there is the long and awkward handshake that follows or worse, the unexpected hug where you pull me in too close and linger. If it is not a firm and short handshake, you are being creepy. I don’t need that first thing in the morning; and don’t for one second try to argue that that is how women want to be treated or that you are being a gentleman for offering compliments. It’s an office, not a mingle party.
“Are you on your period?” someone actually asked me that. Really? “Yes, as a matter of fact, I am. It’s moderately heavy this month and so I have had to increase my intake of iron to make sure I do not pass out in the office so you, my knight in shining armor can save me.”
It’s ridiculous. I am trying to argue out a point on a professional matter and you ask me if I am on my period? You need to apply for a job in a maternity ward seeing as the female reproductive organs fascinate you so much: and do not ask me when I am planning to get pregnant or why I am not married yet because, it really is none of your business!
You don’t hear me asking you why your girlfriend is a certain way or why you still do not have kids. It has nothing to do with our relationship as colleagues; and while we are at it, understand that it is neither a disability nor a deficiency to be pregnant. Too many times I have heard women dismissed or overlooked because of their pregnancy. It is the cycle of life hombre, much like your broken voice.
As a rule of thumb, if you would not ordinarily congratulate your male colleagues for the pitch he made, then don’t congratulate your female colleagues. We can tell when you are being condescending-when you tell us with your nice little words that you are surprised we did so well given we are female! Oh, and the ‘he must really love you if he got you such an expensive *insert material possession here * ‘comments.
And since you are not in my payroll, I cannot possibly see how you deduce that I cannot afford *insert material possession here* And oh yeah, kindly find eye blinds for my legs, thighs, hips, chest, and behind. When you look, even for a second, we always know and it tells us how much of a little boy you can be. Finally, do not ever, as my colleague; tell me I can ‘gerrit’. I already got it!
