Dear Coleen
I’d been married for 32 years when I found out my husband was having an affair. He left me, and we divorced six years ago.
I met someone else four years ago and, although we lived 100 miles apart, we made it work. We saw each other at weekends and had lovely holidays together.
He even put his house up for sale to be with me, then five months ago he called out of the blue and ended our relationship.
I was heartbroken. He hasn’t contacted me since, but he is friends with some of my friends on Facebook and, if I put a comment on a friend’s wall he often ‘likes’ my comments. I also found out he had another partner.
Is he playing mind games? Do I block him on Facebook? I don’t want him thinking I’m bitter, I am just hurting.
I’m beginning to think there is something wrong with me that I can’t keep a man.
Coleen says
There is nothing wrong with you – you had a long-term relationship for 32 years, so you were successful.
It wasn’t your fault your ex-husband let you down. The ending of your marriage was all down to him.
As for blocking your most recent ex – who cares what he thinks?
Do everything you can to make sure he’s out of your life in every way, otherwise it just prolongs your heartache, making it harder for you to move on.
When you still have feelings for someone, and you clearly do have feelings for this man, you read so much into everything – even a ‘like’ on Facebook.
And, in my opinion, if he were a decent, thoughtful bloke, he wouldn’t keep liking your comments because it’s just leading you on.
We all make bad choices at some point in life and it’s human nature to blame ourselves. But none of this is your fault.
This man wasn’t the one for you because he wasn’t willing to make that commitment.
On the plus side, you found someone else after your marriage ended, so you can do it again.
