In mid-July, I remember watching the MTV Africa Music awards and cheering on for the Kenyan band who had been nominated for an award. One striking thing I noticed was their choice of clothes, which was not only ridiculous, but also outrageous and embarrassing. It was a scandal, if you ask me. Fashion atrocities I tell you!
It has taken me about two months to process what my eyes saw that night, things that I will never be able to take back. Well, I have held my tongue long enough. For the love of Kenyans dudes the sake of the next generation of men, I feel that I must speak and impart some wisdom on matters fashion.
Men with handbags
Something has gone very wrong with men’s fashion, particularly in the last seven years or so. Men’s fashion has literally gone to the dogs. It’s turgid, artificial and downright disrespectful to masculinity.
Yes, I know that maybe women are to blame a little because we are the ones who wished that men would understand our gender better; Empathise with us and walk a mile in our shoes.
Unfortunately, men took that literally and are now walking around in our shoes, clothes and make up in the name of being fashion- forward.
And although we women applaud the fact that men have discovered the joys and wonders of manicures and body lotion, I have nothing good to say about the burgeoning fashion trends they are embracing. Some are downright ridiculous.
This is because men’s fashion today is more like a case of the Emperor’s New Clothes (if you have not read the book please do or Google it).
Seriously, when men succumb to carrying hand bags in the name of man-bags, who is to blame for this, is it parents, the society or is it the women in their lives who did not stop them from leaving the house?
This follow-your-heart hocus pocus, which is the mantra of today’s generation, is the reason why we have men walking around in feminine fashion styles that leave much to be desired.
Yet, interestingly enough, when it comes to how our men dress our expectations are very simple. All we require from them is cleanliness and masculinity. To be dressed in the staple; a simple long-sleeved shirt and nicely-fitting pants. Please men, here is some fashion advice that will go a long way: Remember that nothing turns a girl’s stomach more like a man wearing something in floral print, or something that is shiny or glittery.
And when picking pants please lay off leather, no woman wants to be seen with a man dressed in leather pants. Also, what’s with the skinny jeans that give men the woman-like-bottom effect? Or men walking around in cut-off jeans; let’s think about it a little – when a woman wears cut-off jeans she wants to show a little skin, so when a man does the same , what’s his excuse?
Funny trousers
And before I forget, those don’t-touch-my-ankle funny trousers that are won without socks, should be banned! Any man caught wearing them should be arrested! In the jewellery department, we can live with a nice elegant watch, or a wedding band, but when you start straying into Russell Brand territory and living by the motto that ‘men can also accessorise with bangles and necklaces’, it’s not cool.
In closing, to all men, particularly those who think they are ‘fashionistas’, before you leave the house take a good look at yourself in the mirror and imagine a woman wearing the same clothes. If she would rock that same look, chances are your clothes are too feminine! Lose them.
