I have been dating this guy for two years and we now plan to formalise our relationship. However, I am worried about his flirtatious nature. He flirts with everyone including my girlfriends. He even tried to hit on my sister once and although she did not give in to his demands, I could not help but wonder what would have happened if she did. This habit annoys me but I avoid raising it with him because I may come across as insecure. I love him but I am not sure I can trust him fully. Please help.
{Silvia}
Your take
Silvia, love and trust go hand in hand. If you truly love him, you had better handle this issue before you formalise your relationship. Let him know how you feel about his behaviour and ask him to change. If you cannot tell him now, then it will be impossible even in marriage.
{Philip Mulandi}
If he is behaving like this now, how will it be after he marries you? This man does not seem mature enough for marriage. By the fact has it occurred to you that he may also be flirting with you?
Before you say I do, you better resolve this matter now than live with frustrations that may cause complications such as depression, stress, ulcers and others.
{Onyango Outha, Jauduny}
You already know him, so go ahead and marry him. He has proven that he cannot concentrate on one woman so if you love him, just live with this. Thank God that you studied him early enough so either go ahead with it, or retrace your steps and look for another man.
{Tasma Charles}
You may be judging him for a wrong he did not commit. Confront him and observe his reactions about this. He may admit it and apologise or become overly defensive. Go about this diplomatically. Start by telling him about all the things you like about him and why you fell in love with him.
After breaking the ice, mention that the only thing you don’t like about him is the flirting and emphasise that it pisses you off. He may change for the better.
{Ouma Ragumo, Ratado}
This man has proved that he does not love you and that he will never be faithful. Leave him and look for a man who can and will be faithful to you.
{Lang’at Lebcash}
Counsellor’s take
Silvia, birds fly, fish swim and men chase women – that is just what they do. At some point, every man gets excited about women and tries to chase any who as much as looks his way. It is a phase and he has to and he will eventually outgrow it.
For now, he is just excited about ladies. Flirting with other women is not the issue; the bigger problem is doing it in your presence and then going for your siblings. This is unacceptable and is a clear indication that he is not ready for marriage. He has not thought about his responsibility as your future husband and what he should stand for in the eyes and minds of your family members (his in-laws).
He needs to settle this matter with your sister and sincerely apologise.
Make it clear to him that if he continous to flirt with every woman who comes his way, he should do that as far away from you as possible. How would he feel if you behaved in similar fashion?
{Taurus}
In the next issue:
I am engaged to this lady and we are just about to get married. We have a baby boy together but I do not feel the same way about her anymore and surprisingly she has noticed that. However, I have another child from a previous relationship. In our relationship, we fight a lot and one day out of frustration I involved myself with two women on the same day and they got pregnant. The babies were born in January this year. I am in total confusion and just don’t know what to do. The wedding is coming up in like two weeks but I am overwhelmed. Please advise me...
{Mike}
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