By Valentine

It’s Christmas time again, a time when only ‘the now’ exists and tomorrow is too far off to think about. It’s a time for family get-togethers where people indulge in gossip, extreme bragging, fattening up and get drunk.

It is the jolliest time of the year for everyone, but for single girls who are turning 30-something next year, it is a nightmare. This year I tried to ditch the family get-together and hide out at home.

When my mother invited me over for a Christmas family get-together, I tried to come up with all manner of excuses but they were just not good enough for her. Finally, I gave in reluctantly.

Stay at home

I had intended to switch off my phone on Christmas Day, park my car at the farthest corner of my apartment compound where no one could see it and stay in watching movies and eating ice-cream and hotdogs all day long.

At around 3pm in the evening on Christmas Day I was sure that my plan had worked exceptionally well and although I got a few knocks on my door, I would switch off the television and hold my breath hoping that whoever it was would assume that I was not in and go away.

At around 4pm my enjoyment of Desperate Housewives season five came to an abrupt halt, because of a loud banging on my door. Not wanting to alert my guest that I was in the house I did what I had been doing all day. I switched off the television and waited silently hoping the visitor would go away. But the banging did not end; if anything it grew louder and more intense. Then the visitor shouted that she knew I was in the house and demanded that I open the door in a voice that could only be my mother’s. But I did not relent. I had come this far and was not going to put up with anyone’s intrusive questions about my single status.

When everything went silent I waited, knowing how persistent my mother could be. I waited another 10 minutes and though I had an urge to peep through the curtains, I held back least I found her staring at me through the window.

Believing that my mother had gone, I went back to my programme. You can imagine my shock when the door swung open to reveal my mom, asking me to get dressed for the family party. I had forgotten that she had an extra key. Defeated and embarrassed I obeyed without complaining.

Questions

Then the questions began. Even my five-year-old niece wanted to know when I was getting married so that she could book a place as my flower girl. My aunty Susan wanted to introduce me to a son of a friend. Soon after her request everyone followed suit, suggesting eligible bachelors.

If they had looked at my face closely they would have realised that they were killing me softly with their charity.

When I felt that nothing worse could possible come out of my day, my sister, who is a year younger than me but married, announced that she was expecting a second child. Then towards the end of the party my baby sister’s boyfriend got down on his knees and proposed to her in front of everyone. Don’t get me wrong; I was happy for my baby sister but was jealous because she had just finished campus the other day, and was already being proposed to. So what about me?

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