John Ikua's wife, Janet, died in April, 2017 [Photo: Courtesy]

George Ikua, husband to late media personality Janet Ikua recently dropped a bombshell on youths aspiring to get married after he advised that no one under the age of 40 should tie the knot. Speaking during an interview with Miss Tamima on Switch TV’s the Real Talk Roundtable, Ikua explained that individuals under the age of 40 are not aware of who they really are or what they are doing. 

“I actually think people under the age of 40 should not get married. I think you don’t know who you are or what you are doing.  I can tell you that when you start a relationship, there are a couple of languages that have to match and I’m not trying to be philosophical. The language of love and attraction, which many call chemistry is the first thing. You realize you click and connect, you even finish each other’s sentences, and you know you like the same things and excite each other. The feeling is like a high and we all know what happens when you are high on something? It’s not permanent. You can’t be high forever, there’s no drug designed like that. Please note that that is the first thing,” he said. 

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Ikua went on to touch on intimacy in marriage and emphasized why both partners need to understand its importance. He described this as the first marriage; the marriage of attraction and intimacy. “What is your understanding of intimacy and what is her understanding of intimacy? Also, what is your understanding of its importance in a marriage context? This is what we call the first marriage, the marriage of attraction and intimacy,” he continued.

The second part of marriage

The second part of marriage according to Ikua, involves knowing each other’s money language, an aspect he says is an important determinant when it comes to deciding if your partner is the one. “In the second marriage, which is how you know whether somebody ticks the boxes is the language of money. Because while we can be compatible, if me as a lady I  think you should bring a certain amount of money, I should manage the money you bring and most of this learning I have picked from my parents, neighbours or whatever TV show and we never talk about it. So you, you come put your money in the common kitty which you share, she doesn’t involve you, she goes and runs with it then you start saying she is a gold digger, yet, that’s her language of money.”

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He went on to underscore why people should not marry young, saying most youths dodge important questions such as how they would raise their children should they have them. “No one talks about, what if I a baby comes? How are you going to raise that baby? Can we agree that you will be a responsible father? Once all that is out the way, intimacy is gone, money is out of the way and you have agreed on how to parent, the most important thing remains to be companionship. Companionship is the only reason marriage works,” he continued.