Husband Snatchers; no one knows who they are. We only know about husband snatchers after they have done what they do best: Snatch a husband. While many live happily thereafter, we never stop judging. We never take it kindly that out of the many single and divorced men, these women picked a family man.

Husband snatchers have been confused with second wives and mistresses. Breaking news! They are a case of failed husband snatching. Many second wives, girlfriends and mistresses settle for these positions because they realize that the husband can’t be snatched. Very few succeed eventually and carry the day.

Let me define a husband snatcher. (Aggiesikuku 2016): A husband snatcher is a woman who is neither the leader of the majority (Wife) nor the leader of the minority (second wife, mistress or girlfriend).She can be rightfully called a woman who surpasses the leader of majority and minority and takes the marital powers forcefully or otherwise. Husband snatchers can be plain Janes or neck twisting Jills. They can be naive or the know it all type. You never know who they are till you hear an older or younger woman mourning about her stolen husband. Age doesn’t come into play; they cut across all age brackets.  It's important to note that not all husbands can be stolen. Boyish husbands are the ones who are stolen.

Those who can’t zip it and easily fall at the feet of any woman are the kind that can be stolen. Real men adore their wives and are hard to snatch. They don’t give a damn about the secretaries or workmates who reveal their thighs, smile endlessly at them and show their cleavage every day. They pass by them every day and don’t ask them out for lunch. For husband snatching to be successful, there must be an element of negligence somewhere. The wife must leave a hole big enough for a husband snatcher to pass; just like how a thief would snatch your purse because you left it or you carried it carelessly around town.

Wife’s who say they didn’t know their husbands were cheating, are being pretty liars. No woman, however dump, cannot know that. Women who ignore their husbands’ cheating ways end up losing them to husband snatchers. On realizing that one’s husband is cheating, a good wife should know who this woman is. It doesn’t help to be calm and collected. In matters of the heart and serious ones like marriage, calmness has no merit. It’s recommended that the wife opens fire on the silly women hanging around her husband. If the man leaves home to go and make merry with that woman in a bar, appear like a mad woman and threaten to undress before all and sundry. Of course, it’s a shameful thing to do; just like what he is doing.

The effect of such madness is that women will pass the message to others. Many will be scared of the man’s advances. I know of dramatic women whose marriages stood the philandering ways of their husbands courtesy of their theatrics. For the umpteenth time, their husband’s mistresses reported them to the police for threatening them. While this landed them in trouble, they have their husbands. Husband snatchers had nothing to snatch.  When a woman feels like killing, it’s time to leave. No man is worth killing for. While you become a state visitor at Langata women’s prison, the man will be enjoying himself with a bevy of his beautiful women. Spare yourself the drama and let go.

On other occasions a husband volunteers to be snatched. A man offers himself to other women and stops loving his wife due to one or two reasons. Like leprosy, love is dangerous when it comes in old age. It surprises all to see a family man of many years abandoning his wife for another woman; love being guilty of the unfortunate occurrence. The wife becomes a distant object, the man acts like he never loved her and banishes every moment he had with her. Husband snatchers have an irritating attitude. Since many stole a husband, they are aware that what goes round comes around. They therefore have pretentious love towards their stolen husband. They never let him out of sight, they call the husband endlessly regardless of whether he is busy at work or not. They are proud of their men (to flatter them).

Many make statements to the effect that they are not involved in husband snatching. They point out that the man and his wife had irreconcilable differences. Those are the ones who try to justify their position. Others don’t owe anybody an explanation. They live life oblivious of what they did. They never say a word about what it took for them to be in their current position. Of course, many are hated by the family, friends and they are the object of gossip. After many years of establishing themselves, people forget what they did. The same people who hated them begin to love them and admire them.

Husband snatchers came in many forms. Some are known while others are unknown. Younger sisters and relatives can take a sister's husband. Trusted friends can turn round and run away with one’s husband. Neighbors, workmates and the strange people you don’t know can also be husband snatchers. Between a husband being snatched completely and a case of polygamy, I don’t know which is better. While polygamy gives the wife a chance to share her husband and still have a say over her man, husband snatching leaves her hopeless. It’s like playing football and not drawing but losing without a score to your opponent. Others say none of the above is good. A man should be faithful, they insist. While there’s nothing that can be done to ensure that the rate of husband snatching goes down, it’s important that every wife holds onto their husbands tightly. When a woman holds your husband’s gaze, don’t let him go without a fight. Hold on longer. When your children’s happiness and well-being are at stake, don’t even think of leaving. Tell those women to come after you if they must. Believe me you, many will take off.