A student from a local university in Nairobi, recently learnt the hard way that there is no such thing as free lunch when he faced the wrath of a prostitute. This was after he attempted to ‘shoplift’ from her. The student had picked her from the streets of Nairobi, took her to his hostel, and once he had been served honey, he reneged on the agreed payment.
According to one of his friends with whom they had gone to town to frolic, the student had imbibed too much beer and vowed to take home a hooker. True to his word, on their way to the hostel, they bumped into a bunch of hookers, hawking their ‘wares’ along the streets. According to the student’s friend, the hookers had a hard-to resist marketing strategy, what most people refer to as ‘the supermarket approach’; where all goods are put on display.
The student couldn’t just resist. Seeing as he was feeling ‘thirsty’, as his friend put it, he picked one of them. He beckoned her aside, and after striking an agreement, took her to his hostel in Parklands. Just after quenching his thirst, the student claimed he had no money to pay in cash. He pushed the joke too far when he suggested that the hooker gives him the service on credit, and promised to pay up the following day. He claimed, by then, he would have borrowed a charger from his neighbor to recharge his ‘dead phone’ and settle the bill via M-pesa.
This is when drama began. The hooker got furious and began shouting and demanding her dues, rather loudly. In the process, she woke up other students on the entire block, who came out to enjoy the free for all drama.
Within a short time there was one fine mess. “Nyinyi wanafunzi hujifanya wajanja (you students always imagine you are smarter than everyone else),” the hooker was heard yelling at the student, as tickled onlookers thronged the corridor outside the student’s room. “I will teach you manners! You think I’m here for fun you idiot? This is a business,” she yelled. “Umepata kile ulikua unataka, sasa unataka kukosa kulipia (you have got what you wanted, now you don’t want to pay up)?” the hooker asked him. “Sasa wacha tuone nani mjanja… Usipolipa mimi sitoki hapa (let’s see who is smarter now, I will not leave this room unless you pay up),” the hooker threatened.
It took a shouting match for the sly student to pay up. In an interesting turn of events, after settling the bill, the hooker proceeded to lock out the student as she enjoyed the comfort of his bed till early the following day. Had it not been the intervention of his friendly neighbor who gave him a place to sleep, the student would have slept out in the cold. The incident left him with egg on face. However, he has vowed never to seek such pleasures. Unfortunately, he has since become the laughing stock of his colleagues in campus.
