Reading about Bro Ocholla’s woes evoked all the loathing I harbour towards WhatsApp groups. I am a bit antisocial when it comes to social media and instant messaging. So, it comes as no surprise that I consider WhatsApp groups as the bane of technology.

I do not do WhatsApp groups unless for a specific purpose and limited time. It is my enlightened opinion that a person should only be in a maximum of four WhatsApp groups. The first one is family. Sorry to say but you do not really have a choice in this one. The second is your friends’ WhatsApp group. The third one is a class WhatsApp group for students. If, like me, you need to be constantly reminded of assignments and upcoming CATS and exams, this one will prove invaluable. And finally, a church group for the pious ones like Bro Ocholla.

You should never stay in an unsolicited WhatsApp group just because you are afraid of hurting someone’s feelings. What about your peace of mind? I have rounded up the top reasons why I hate whatsapp groups.

Contacts thieves

I am a social butterfly in real life. I interact with a lot of people. Once in a while, I will give my number to a person I have just met whom I find interesting. What I don’t anticipate is that person adding me to a WhatsApp group filled with strangers. Before you can hit ‘exit’, you get a WhatsApp message from an unknown number that reads something like: “Hae. Ni Jaymo. Got your digits from ‘illest gang in Nai’ group. Your pic is cute. Uko how?” Arrg, no! Block!

Waking up to 200 new messages

200 messages! Seriously! It will be even more exasperating to discover that it was just Jaymo and Kate who were suffering from a bad case of insomnia and decided to while the night away chatting with each a freaking WhatsApp group!

Online marketers

Then there are those people who sell quail eggs or try to recruit people in whatever pyramid scheme is in season in the ‘psychology 301 class’ WhatsApp group. If I wanted to learn how to make Sh30,000 a month from just being online, I’m sure there is a WhatsApp group that caters for such. For now, let us kindly just stick to psychology 301.

Unsolicited videos and pictures

Someone shares a 20MB video that you download only to discover it is a video of a cat playing the piano or those extremely annoying talking Tom cats videos.