The trouble with Manx Cats in ‘Yes’ Ark

Kipkoech Tanui

Today let us talk about cats and our politicians. The cats we know have tails, but there is one called Manx — named so after the Isle of Man — which is either tailless or just has a stub.

These cats, though rare, bear some similarity with several politicians we have in Kenya who either joined ‘Yes’ late, are ‘watermelons’, or have chosen which side to back as a matter of political exigency. They include those waiting to see which side the wind is blowing towards — or away from.

For our analogy, we shall call them the political Manx Cats because of a legend about this breed. The story begins with the Biblical Noah and his Ark.

Flood survivor

Strictly for the purposes of our argument, let us take the new constitution to be the Ark Mzee Noah was asked to put up and herd in every animal because there was a deluge coming.

The story goes that the Manx Cat liked too much play and got into the Ark just as Noah shut the door and the wooden door sliced off its tail! But at least it survived the floods, and its offspring, the legend goes, have never needed tails, because it adapted to a new life without it. A small one can in fact fell a rodent bigger than itself because, the ‘architecture’ of its backbone evolved to take care of the missing tail.

The problem with our political Manx Cats, is we do not know what game they were so preoccupied with they almost missed the Ark. The legend again goes, the Manx told Noah it was hunting mice to bring them on board — obviously as a ‘bribe’!

Another version of the legend claims the Manx Cat is a crossbreed between a rabbit and a cat — they actually look like cats but move like rabbits — which means they are probably ‘watermelons’!

Which means even after it has finally jumped into the Ark, it would still be distinguishable it is not what it seems to be! The only reason they may be in the Ark is to escape the deluge (read political survival).

They would for example tell you they are in the Ark because their friends are in it, or even tribes. They quote no chapter they like — to them it is just a ‘smart’ yet deceitful politically self-serving move.

But this is not to say ‘Yes’ is the Ark in the literal sense, and so those in ‘No’ team are doomed. In any case, ‘Yes’ looks like it is winning, but four days is a long time in politics.

In any case, regardless of who wins, we shall all remain Kenyans after Wednesday.

Secondly, there are people in ‘No’ because of their religious and cultural beliefs — and you cannot fault them or the Church for that.

Two groups

It is also true the political Manx Cat one finds in the Ark includes those who are in it because they were driven by mob psychology, or that their leaders told them it was the politically-correct thing for their tribes to do — not the contents of draft.

This class will include the lot Vice-President Kalonzo Musyoka has swayed to ‘Yes’ through what in Ukambani is now called Katiba Plus — which means there is hidden premium in voting ‘Yes’, and giving their son the springboard to leap into the 2012 ring.

Either way, there are two groups of heroes in this reform process — those who took the ‘No’ position in broad daylight because they believed in it and were informed by the genuine fear for the proposed law.

Titanic moment

Then there are also who sided with ‘Yes’ because of the contents and consistency with what they have always wished for Kenya. To them, it does not matter if the Ark will hit an iceberg, just like the RMS Titanic in 1912. They will go down saying they gave their country the best chance.

But it is the political Manx Cats that we should watch more carefully after next week — whichever way the vote goes — because without tails we cannot learn from them what Mark Twain taught: "If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way."

The writer The Standard’s Managing Editor, Daily Editions.

ktanui@standardmedia.co.ke