What your moti sez about you

By Chiquitta

The streets of Nairobi are filled with motis, rides, whips and wheels of all shapes and sizes, mostly Japanese manufactured and mostly stuck in traffic. While most of us tend to find ourselves in the proverbial ma-three those who have made it cement their new status by buying a "new" moti.

New in Kenya, by the way, is a relative term. Most Japan imported cars are actually second-hand no matter how shiny or trendy. But because we don’t want to spoil the joy the new owner gets from his imported car, we will stick with the word new* for the rest of the column.

Subaru Imprezza WRX

The WRX owner is usually a jamaa over the age of 25. The fact that it’s a fast car means he is a bit of a show off. They get due props from their boys and it’s sleek body impresses chicks (or so they like to think). The owner will most likely be a fast rising Kenyan yuppie named Jamo, Izzo or Hashil. The mid-20s owner bought this car because they enjoy the admiration and the over-30 owner bought the car to fulfil a longing nurtured while driving a beat up Mazda in his 20s.

Starlet

The Starlet is a popular first car for chicks – at least it was until the Vitz and Nissan Duet came along. (Please note that the name Starlet can be used to describe any small nondescript car with a hatchback). This must be why Jalang’o of KISSFM insists his girly hatchback is just a car he uses while his ‘real’ car is in the garage. With it’s fuel sipping ways the starlet is still a firm favourite and even former Pulse editors Wayua and Ciku still own their trusted Starlets. The Starlet is also popular with jamaas of the college going age bracket. To spot one belonging to a college kid, look out for large bumper sticker saying things like "No Fear", loud speakers bumping genge or reggae and with tints so dark they use torches to find the gear box.

Vitz

Remember the chick in the Retirements Benefits advertisement? " I am an upwardly mobile 24 year old…" well, she most probably owned a Vitz. The Vitz despite being one of the most economical cars on the market hasn’t really been a hit with jamaas who look at it as a chick car due to it’s "cute" factor. It doesn’t help that the car is also available in a certain nail-polish shade made by Luron. But this doesn’t mean jamaas have not been spotted driving around with the Vitz. This could only mean two things either he is a stingy date or just a fun guy lacking the usual macho hang-ups that plague Kenyan men.

Toyota Land Cruiser

To own a Toyota Land Cruiser, you must be good at signing checks. The Land Cruiser is a fuel guzzler mostly favoured by Gava types. This simply means MPs have free reign on the latest models of Land Cruiser because the aircon comes in handy when visiting their grassroots constituents. Owning a Land Cruiser may also mean having a ‘pot’ and duly making unfulfilled promises to the rest of Kenya. The Toyota Lan Cruiser owner also possibly owns a Mercedes and BMW for official functions.

Land Rover Defender

This car screams: "I’m white person living in the wilderness of Kenya just like Karen Blixen". The defender has been popular choice for expats and Kenyan cowboys ever since the days of Happy Valley. They are quite hardy which comes in handy for Safari’s and bird watching. They are also not cheap and you will note that the owners tend to live in the leafy suburbs of Gigiri and Karen.

Hummer

When the Hummer first landed under controversial circumstances, car dealers claimed it would not catch on. Some even went as far as to say that Kenya was not ready for a "luxury car market" (Luxury meaning brand new and not from Japan). Well that was then this is now and the Hummer on Kenyan streets has become a common sight. The Hummer is actually the most "look-at-me-car" on Kenyan roads. It’s bright colours and humongous wheels reveal that the owner gets a kick from roadside stares and road domination.

While many luxury cars are now in the market it maybe awhile before we lay our eyes on the following high end brands: Lamborghini, Ferrari Enzo, Mercedes SLR Maclaren, Maybach Benz and Aston Marten Vanquish each costing over a billion in Kenyan shillings and all a little to prissy for our potholed roads.

Oh well, we can’t help but dream.

* Test driven on flat Japanese roads by a guy called Ikeda before being discarded for a newer model.