The magic dent that repaired itself

By Tony Ngare

Borrowing and driving other people’s cars is usually a scary affair. Borrowing a car without the owner’s permission is even scarier.

My friend Charlie remembers the good old days when he and his brothers would borrow their father’s car on Saturday nights. The term "borrowing" here is to be used cautiously. This is because the process was more delicate than walking up to the old man and asking him: "Wassup my guy? Could I borrow your car to pick a pal from the airport who arrives at 2am aboard Zimbabwean Airlines?"

The process of borrowing Baba Charlie’s car entailed the boys eating hastily and going to bed. This may look unrelated to borrowing the car but it was a carefully calculated ploy to achieve their goal. One, with the cacophony of their sons missing, the parents became thoroughly bored. This in turn meant the parents would also go to sleep. Two, it ensured the boys had adequate rest before they hit the road. It is one thing to drive a car when you are minor but to do it when sleepy is best left to seasoned war dogs.

Depending on the evaluation of noises coming from the parents’ bedroom, the boys would tip toe to the garage.

Military precision

Its helpful to add that they would wake up fully dressed to minimise any noise that might give them away and any extra time spent making their getaway. It was an affair that required military precision.

Even a buffoon knows that starting a Volvo’s engine in a quiet neighbourhood after midnight would raise a lot of noise. The car had to be pushed for close to half a kilometre before they could start the engine.

Things did not always go to plan. One night, the car was unlocked. They pushed the damn car only to realise that no one had remembered to confirm whether the ignition key was under the mat where it was hidden at times. The boys had a big verbal fight over whether to abandon the mission and push the car back or nominate one brother to go and try to salvage the key and save the day.

Cost implication

Borrowing also had a cost implication as well since they had to grease the watchman’s palm to encourage him to look the other way as they drove off.

One Friday evening, Charlie and company borrowed the car as usual. But they failed to notice something amiss. The car had a huge dent. After raving the whole night, it was time to go home. Suddenly, they saw the ugly dent on the passenger’s side as they prepared to beat the dad’s alarm clock. Quick thinking and a few SoS calls had them heading to Ngara — to the family mechanic. The man was not amused to be wrung from the bosom of his wife on a chilly night to go get his hands dirty. But he also knew that if he didn’t do that, the boys would be dead meat by morning. So he saved the day and he demanded they pay him in two weeks. Pinching money from the kitchen jar and fleecing the old man required time and innovation, he had reasoned. He panel beat and sprayed the car — all under one hour. By 5.30am, Charlie was at the steering wheel, driving the huge, now shiny Volvo home.

Quit drinking

At around 10am, when the family usually had breakfast together on Saturday mornings, Charlie and his brothers proceeded to the dining room. They would never have guessed what awaited them. They each sat in their respective seats as they had done over the years. This sitting arrangement during meals was a family tradition. In Charlie’s lifetime he had only witnessed two people disrupt it and get away with it; both women — their grandmothers.

After breakfast, dad stood up and beckoned his wife to the window.

"Darling, you know I quit drinking seven years ago," he said while looking at the car. At this juncture Charlie and the brothers exchanged quick glances, their adrenalin shooting through the roof.

"But I can swear that on my way home yesterday, a drunk hit my car and paid me Sh5,000 for repairs. Yet this morning, not only does the car not have a dent, but it also looks like it has been waxed and polished," the astute car owner observed.

Charlie felt like screaming and kicking the chair, but that would have been suicidal.