It's good to let some opportunities go

At a charity dinner event several years ago, we met a very attractive couple. You could tell by looking at their clothes and grooming that they were financially well off. They were easy to talk with and we soon found ourselves discussing what we do.

We were amazed as they each described their careers and achievements. I found myself asking, 'wow, how do you fit all that in and still manage to have time for your marriage and your children?'

With that, the conversation took a different gear. They described to us how crazy it was to manage both their schedules. Their frequent travels and huge responsibilities meant they often found themselves shelving important conversations or missing important milestones for their children.

The wife wistfully observed how on several occasions, they had exchanged memos at the airport, as one of them was on their way out of the country and the other was on their way back, with items like 'Child A is on medication while child B has a parent's day at school tomorrow'.

Turns out they couldn't slow down even if they wanted to because they had a huge mortgage to service and expensive school fees to pay.

Their problem was clearly not lack of opportunities. Their problem was too many opportunities! And that brings me to my topic. Did you know that you don't have to walk into every door that you find open? Did you know that not every good opportunity is a good opportunity for you? Not every promotion or business opportunity should be greeted with a yes. In fact, often times, like with our couple, good can be the enemy of best.

So how to go about distinguishing between the many good opportunities that come your way? The most important guide should be your personal mission. Let's do a little exercise. Imagine it's your 85th birthday party. An extended family member gives a speech about your life. One of your friends is next, reminiscing about your friendships.

There's also a speech from one of your professional colleagues, and then someone from one of the community efforts where you served. Finally your children and then your spouse take the microphone to speak about you.

What would you like each of these people to say about your life? Your genuine answers to these questions are one way to catch a glimpse of your unique mission in life.

You owe it to yourself to take some time out to think about and write down your personal mission statement. And then to regularly review your life to ensure you are moving in the right direction.

Knowing your personal mission will help you know which opportunities to pursue. But it will also help you confidently say 'no' to good sounding opportunities that are simply distractions. And it will help you avoid peer pressure and the need to look like everyone else.