Recently, Nairobi socialites Amber Ray and Vera Sidika got into an online tussle over who may have copied whose gender reveal idea.
The girls were fighting because Vera accused Amber of copying her idea to use a chopper for the gender reveal.
But who would have thought that an intimate moment meant for the parents would turn into a rivalry between expectant mothers?
Vera held her gender reveal in December 2022 where she had the helicopter circle over her and her group of friends to release blue powder to signal that she was having a boy.
This is the same way Amber arrived in a chopper earlier this month where she revealed she was having a girl.
Taking to Instagram, Vera shared that she believed Amber spied on her plans and copied the idea, while Amber responded that all gender reveal parties are copied from Jenna Karvunidis who began the trend in 2008.
Gender reveal parties haven't always been a thing of the norm and only began to gain popularity with the new wave of social media in the last decade.
Moreover, it has never been practised in African tradition. In fact, tradition held that the gender of the baby was usually known on the day of birth.
However, through westernisation, the celebration was reserved for the parents and a few family members.
The originator of the gender reveal, Jenna Karvundis, unknowingly started this trend in 2008 when she bought a cake which when cut into revealed pink frosting to signify having a girl.
A pretty wholesome and simple act right? However today she says "It's just become a bit of a nightmare".
Thanks to social media and the interest in going viral, this bred a cult-like following online with expecting mothers competing for the spot of most unique and elaborate gender reveal.
These gender reveal wars spread like wildfire over the internet and one even caused an actual real wildfire when a "smoke-generating device ignited a wildfire that burned nearly 47,000 acres in Los Angeles. Among other disasters have been plane crashes and explosions. The ideas range from balloons to shooting guns.
Who is it for?
Originally the small get-together was reserved for family and close friends. These days it seems the internet is just as invested in changing the gaze to views and attention-seeking, aka "chasing clout".
Right now if you find yourself driving along Ngong' road, you'll find a huge billboard commissioned by Amber Ray, belly out in the lead-up to her gender reveal with the question Boy or Girl?
On Twitter, Kenyans showed their irritation with the erected billboard stating that with all that's going on within the country the least of their concerns are whether Amber Ray was having a girl or a boy. Instead they would much rather focus on a healthier economy.
What role do the fathers play? As the other participant that led to the creation of this baby, from the videos posted online we see they have very little to do with the occasion. You can usually find him standing there looking awkward and unsure of himself, his duty is to cooperate and appear when called, be it for a photo, or to poke the balloon and act surprised.
But are they silent or have they been silenced? Do they really care about the whole thing altogether or would they much rather have been happier with a trip to the ultrasound technicians? Are they fine to cough up the dough for a lavish ceremony that in the long run doesn't help the baby and would they rather have the money put to better use?
Planning committee
If you're lucky to get invited to these over-the-top soirees and to witness the lengths they go to, to make that day special you're more than likely to have even found yourself in the planning committee via WhatsApp groups months before the shindig.
Just like the WhatsApp's groups geared at raising funds for a funeral or for a sick loved one bills, baby shower and gender reveal WhatsApp groups are becoming the norm.
Say Sally sees Mary's fabulous gender reveal posts all over her timeline and now Sally feels pressured to have one just as fabulous for herself come hell or high waters so what does she do? She gathers all the contacts in her phone even poor old Jeff who she stood up many years earlier in an effort to accumulate the shocking amount of money needed to throw an unforgettable gender reveal.
The heartwarming WhatsApp group picture with her smiling face and bump is edging you on to contribute the Sh5,000.
So what happens when you, a reasonable person and friend doesn't feel she's in her right to ask you to contribute to a party when you would much rather contribute to a box of diapers?
There will be some tension in the relationship. More and more we don't know how to tell our friends they're being ridiculous, but why? Because everyone is doing it.
So you purse your lips and head over to M-Pesa because you don't want to piss a pregnant lady off.
You don't see why you should...but what you don't know is that unlike Mary whose moneyed husband is taking care of all the ridiculous costs of the shower, Mary is doing the single mother thing and pressurizing her friends to give her the same ridiculous experience.
Well, we're yet to see who between Vera and Amber won the competition.
