To be a comedian in Kenya is no mean feat.
It’s clear from most of their performances that it takes real talent and experience to entertain everyone and hold them in thrall, then leave them sprawling on the floor trembling with laughter.
If you thought that getting to grace our TVs on Sunday is easily achieved, think again – you’ve got to be gifted in a more ways than smallish body and ruddy eyes.
You should not even begin imagining yourself a successful Kenyan comedian if you cannot accurately imitate the accent and common stereotypes of at least one of our many tribes, including your own.
As a rule, a joke deliberately delivered in a tribal accent is funnier than a joke delivered in the mainstream accent.
The familiar variations in tone and pitch will give your hilarious, long-winded jokes a bit of dignity in the unfortunate event that you forget your lines.
Depending on how passionate you are, your talent can also span across nations and you would be pleased to know that the choices are unlimited, and that, in fact, word going around salons and spas is that a Nigerian accent is very marketable and durable, both on and off-screen.
If anything, it may even be much more profitable than our very own languages, if the scandalous Facebook Buyer-Beware exposés concerning ‘Nigerian men’ that occur from time to time are anything to be believed.
Along with the accent (often) comes the garb. Matching your accent with an appropriate outfit could earn you a good spot in a random Top Ten Comedians blog post, but such an achievement is incomplete if the costume does not match your stereotypical character.
To complement your act of mimicking a slow-minded Maasai (herds)man, for instance, you would be a better comedian if you wrapped red bed sheets around your body and held them in place using a beaded belt (made from genuine leather), with a rungu hanging on your waist, and a pair of akala on your feet.
Much like a Maasai native from Tanzania that I knew - Remaiyan Ore Renku - who worked as a doctor and tourist attraction at the same time.
Remaiyan would roam around town hawking some dark-coloured liquid in a jerry can, which he claimed could cure any ailment, while obliviously spreading misinformation about his dear Maasai culture.
His heavy Kikuyu accent whenever he attempted to speak the Nilotic language never stopped him from explaining his colourful Maasai heritage to clueless, mesmerised first-time visitors, and his short, rotund stature wouldn’t stop him from chanting incoherently and doing a Moran jump to prove just how Maasai he was.
It is when it was time to lance a throbbing boil under Remaiyan’s armpit that people found out that he was called Kinuthia.
If your act is a naive, gullible woman from the village, you would pass the auditions with flying colours if you dressed in clashing garments, preferably a baggy, pleated skirt or just any large unflattering skirt; an equally boring, ill-fitting blouse fastened to the last button; a headscarf wrapped around your head like your grandmother would before going to the farm; and an old pair or rubber shoes.
If the character is male, then a pair of trousers, preferably with suspenders and worn high up around the waist, and then tucked into a pair of mismatching socks would suffice - and a brightly-coloured oversize coat, a large tie, and a hat to complete the mshamba look could be handy.
This is a good thing for your brand as the simple character can be grasped by one and all, and can, therefore, be easily used to distinguish you from your fellow comedians during a deafening road show.
This set-up is not enough, though, and will probably not help you much if you haven’t made Twitter your bosom friend. Twitter is the research centre – a rich goldmine for perfectly-coined one-liners and punchlines.
It is the go-to place when looking for some ‘inspiration’, where you look for the mic-drop moment in the joke you are trying to paraphrase so that it may, at least, sound original and yours.
As a plus, your dancing skills should be Sakata material because you’re almost expected to perform your favourite dance routine as you enter the stage to start your brief stand-up segment in a live show.
Finally, at the peak of your career, you should become a radio or TV show co-host.
You cannot fully boast of your success as a comedian if your audience won’t hear your voice every day at some breakfast show or an evening drive, where you cheer them up by repeating the same things you say on TV - and it’s not easy maintaining such freshness!
Would you like to get published on Standard Media websites? You can now email us breaking news, story ideas, human interest articles or interesting videos on: standardonline@standardmedia.co.ke
