Time is unpredictable. Time has the power to build and at the same time, destroy. It can make diamonds and crumble foundations in the same breadth.
It can be a balm for the broken heart but it can loosen the glue that has held a marriage together.
When men grow old and the energy in their loins recede, they find their way back to their first wives. Here, they sit quietly watching the sun set. They shed off their chauvinistic nature. They are more accepting, and caring. They don’t mind helping their wives whip a meal, as they reminisce about the good, old days.
Old age is for companionship when old lovers with saggy skin find their way to each other, broken but wise. Love at this stage is pure and patient, having been washed clean of lust.
The men may silently regret their years of riot when youthful women lured them with traps of white teeth and brown skin. The dwindling levels of testosterone opens their eyes and brings them back home to their wives, who still adore them.
But it may appear this prototype doesn’t exactly work in 21st century marriages. Despite divorce not being common in Africa, this trend is also catching up with much older couples. You will find a couple that has been together for over 40 years, will one day call it quits.
It’s like two people setting out to build a house and they diligently work on the project giving it their best, but when it is nearly done, they decide they do not want it anymore.
You would think that in the 70s, deeper friendships have been forged between couples. You expect them to spend their evenings quietly listening to slow music, sipping tea and mourning about their aching joints. But the contemporary old couple is woke. Technology has given the man an opportunity to boost his testosterone and he will marry for as long as the blue pill exists.
When our grandfathers were disgruntled with our grandmothers, they simply kept off their houses. They spent time with nyumba ndogo, while the first wife busied herself with her farms or sat at her front door feeding her chicken. They never dreamt of leaving because that was never an option. You would send her away and she’d laugh at you, declaring she was not going anywhere.
But times have changed. We keep records of each other’s sins and our hearts are unrelenting in our pursuit for revenge. We do not mind dragging each other with our hair across the street as long as we get what we want. The society is toppling from the corrosion at its foundation. Where do young couples go for advice when the older generations cannot keep the promise? In whose hands are we safe?
