When I was younger, I was obsessed with grand public proposals. I would fantasise about my beloved taking me to see my favourite band in concert. He would then pop up on stage halfway through the show and ask me to join him up there. He would give an emotional speech about his love for me before going down on one knee and popping the question in front of a full house. I’d say “yes” with happy tears trickling down my face and we would embrace as the crowd erupts into cheers. Now that I am older and wiser, I don’t relish the thought of having a crowd of cheering spectators when I get engaged. Much as I enjoy being the centre of attention, such a proposal just sounds dreadful.
Call me old-fashioned, but a quiet, intimate and private proposal sounds so much better than a big, elaborate and showy public proposal. Who needs all that hoopla and drama? Getting engaged is a deeply personal and intimate affair and I don’t understand why some people insist on turning it into a spectacle. I would much rather have a totally private marriage proposal in a secluded mountaintop or a deserted beach than an over-the-top proposal in a concert hall in front of a giant group of total strangers.
Granted, proposing to the love of your life during a concert would make the proposal truly memorable; however, a cosy and discreet proposal is much more romantic. It is just the two of you and you will be free to have real, unedited emotions. The only exception would be to bring a photographer along to capture the moment.
There are plenty of cons of a public proposal. First of all, you risk becoming the next internet video sensation if your proposal is turned down. In this era of Facebook Live, it is pretty much guaranteed that a few people in your group of onlookers are capturing it all on video. Secondly, popping the question in front of family and friends or strangers pretty much guarantees a “yes” even if she doesn’t want to marry you.
Putting her on the spot in public like that puts her under pressure to accept that proposal. She will not want to embarrass you by turning down the proposal, especially when there are family and friends looking on expectantly. Marriage is a serious commitment and you want to be sure that your fiancée gives you an honest answer when you pop the question. Also, if your fiancée is the shy retiring type, what is meant to be a pleasant and memorable experience will be mortifying.
An over-the-top public proposal is unnecessary and is more often than not, used to make up for something that is lacking in the relationship. Proposing in front of friends or family or strangers is the biggest blunder an aspiring fiancé could make. Unless you have talked about it and you are sure that your fiancée would appreciate a grand gesture, keep the engagement a just-the-two-of-you occasion.
