When growing up, one of the greatest challenges I had was making friends. This is still a challenge.
In a world and an age where friendships are constantly defined by quantity and not quality I could easily pass for a social misfit. I really wanted to ‘fit in’ to be the boy who hangs out with the coolest kids in class; to be the teenager who knew all the new dance moves and the coolest movies that just premiered or even when it was going to premiere.
I was like the kid who stuck to his books along the hallways, and when a bully passed by and knocked them off I gladly picked them up as they walked way laughing. I grew up having some sort of hatred towards bullies. The class and the library were my friends. Books gave me the magic and comfort I always longed for. They took me to the land where magic came to life. A Chemistry equation brought me to life in the midst of all these depressing surroundings, Literature gave me best friends though inanimate.
Being a ‘misfit’, the societal expectations made me believe that I had a problem. That the kid who laughs so hard or suddenly sheds a tear when a character he loved so much died or disappeared is definitely a ‘weirdo’ or a ‘pervert’.
You see dear reader, we all have the innate desire to belong, to be a part of something and have someone to share those intimate secrets with. As time went by I compromised. I let down my guards and decided to be a ‘cool kid’.
At some point in life we can only take in much. We all have our saturation points and at our fill we eventually spill. Self-esteem is no longer ‘self’ since it has been tied to a myriad of societal expectations such as the number of followers you have (Jesus only needed twelve followers to change the world and of the twelve he had an intimate three. Some of us have hundreds of followers who cannot even lift a finger to stand for us).
As I write this, I can happily attest that I eventually came to the realization and acceptance of who I am and what I am meant for. You see with friendships, the smaller your circle the more meaningful it is. I have scars from my past not from the meaningful friendships I made but from the friendships I made while compromising and accepting the societal demands on me.
I write this to pass across that no matter how introverted you are or a ‘misfit’ you are there is definitely nothing wrong with you. You are magical just the way you are.
Those closest to me can attest that some of my most satisfying moments are when I get to share a story on a book I read. Eventually, in life we all find those with whom we share our ‘weirdness’. Those with whom an hour together feels like a second and a day apart feels like eternity. We all just need to stay true to ourselves and eventually we will find our soul mates in this journey called life.
The most amazing thing about genius is that it does not need the approval of masses but a belief in the self. Never compromise your standards just to suit those who fleetingly pass by your life but passionately hold onto your belief for those who will find a place in your soul.
I may have few friends but I hold no regrets or apologies: I can proudly declare that I have found those whom I can gladly call my friends, those with whom I can share ‘stupid’ stories with and laugh at something only we understand.
Dear reader, if I could write a note to my younger self in two words I would definitely tell him to be himself. Just don’t let anyone in, my friend. This is your life and you are not some sort of experiment, social or scientific. You are you and the greatest satisfaction you will ever have is living a life you are comfortable living.
Compromise on your standards only leads to regrets and a bitter life. Nothing great was ever conceived by the masses. If you crave deeper connections with others, seek them: If you crave passion, seek it. This is your life and yours alone. Society sets the limits on the ordinary, we break them through genius and belief in ourselves.
Guard and selfishly choose your innermost circles because they have a great bearing on who you eventually become. Just don’t let any Tom, Dick, and Harry in at the expense of a Darcy, Rudy or Atticus.
