During their inception back in the day, beauty contests used to focus on the ‘whole package’. But today, the focus is on the ‘package’, quite literally. As Kenyans and most Africans still focus on the whole package in their beauty contests; in the West, mzungus have taken the game to a whole new level: They now hold beauty contest for sex organs!
Take, for instance, what happened recently in Brooklyn, US. A night club is reported to have held not its first but third Annual Smallest Penis Contest. In addition, as Huffingtonpost reports, Autoblow, a company that makes a machine designed to perform artificial blowjobs, is now holding a contest to find America’s most beautiful vagina!
Add to the mix Brazil’s crazy Miss Bum Bum contest, where women compete to win the coveted title of having the country’s most shapely butt.
Having pageants focused on particular body parts might seem impersonal, but Jesse Levitt, the organiser of smallest penis contest, says it was a personal relationship that inspired the first Smallest Penis Contest.
Smallest Penis Contest
“My female business partner Amy had a bad romantic experience with a guy who was too big,” he told local media. “We wanted to give a shout out to the smaller guys who go the extra mile in bed. The contest is not about smallness, but confidence and heart — guys who are proud to be who they are.”
Levitt admits the Smallest Penis Contest is taboo and voyeuristic, but figures it’s also a statement about equality. “We have a lot of things that objectify women’s bodies, but not as many for men,” he said.
Brian Sloan, the owner of Autoblow, says his Vagina Beauty Contest isn’t meant to objectify the vagina, he just wants to improve the quality of his products.
Sloan is also aware that the beauty contest is actually looking for the best looking vulva, not a vagina per se, but said he’s being scientifically inaccurate in the name of good branding.
The Vagina Beauty Contest currently has 15 of them competing to win cash prizes. The top three vote-getting vaginas will be flown to Los Angeles. The sex organs will get a 3D scan that will allow them to be duplicated publicly on future Autoblow products.
Sloan doesn’t want his own personal biases to get in the way of sales, hence the need for a contest. He realises they come in all shapes and sizes.
The winning vaginas will be used in various products, but the women they belong to will remain anonymous and without royalties.
“This particular contest isn’t about who the winners are, but only what their vaginas look like,” he said. “Royalties are more fit for a situation where we profit from some else’s achievements or abilities. This contest is simply about what nature has bestowed upon them and I think for that, a one-time payment is fair compensation.”
