By John Kariuki

 In the popular local television series, Mother- In-Law, the ageing main character brings out things that anybody would see or experience with ageing parents!

The mother in-law often meddles in her children’s affairs. She steps on everybody’s toes. From deciding the schools that her grandchildren should attend, who should befriend who, to “sorting out” her son’s wives, she makes a bold statement on the acknowledged problem of ageing parents!

 Often, some ageing parents retire from money responsibilities and load everything on to their children, even when they still have energy to work. They never factor in their monthly pensions and other income in their financial obligations.

Social functions

 Instead, they squander their income on pursuits like attending all social functions in their vicinity with their children making up for their permanent shortfall and numerous mistakes.

These may include footing the bills for farming, medical care, maintaining their houses and so on. Apparently, any money given to the parents goes to the latest social events and church functions, irrespective of the urgency of the personal priorities for which the funds were solicited for in the first place!

  While African customs counsel of an unflinching obedience and loyalty to one’s parents, the harsh economic reality makes it imperative to revise such tenets.

All working people should be careful lest all their hard earned cash is lost to the ageing parents’ whimsical demands. Everybody must learn tact in putting forward his or her case and declining some incessant and unsustainable money requests.

Parents support

 Edgar Kiriro, a school teacher in Nyandarua County, says his parents applauded when he was employed. They would make little financial demands on him till the day his father retired from the civil service.

“Everything changed overnight and I found myself sending them a monthly upkeep of Sh5,000 while my father sought his pension,” Kiriro tells Shillings &Sense.

 Two years down the line, his father’s pension was processed and things eased a little bit. “By then my own children were joining secondary school and I knew I would not be of much help to them,” says Kiriro. They intervened in their father’s retirement plans to find out if he had a sustainable project but the old man would not entertain it.

 After a series of blunders and scams, his father’s pension was over and he started asking for regular  assistance from his children once again.

“Sometimes I would send money for buying chicken feed and seeds but he would donate all at funerals or weddings or drink it all and make the same request to my two other siblings,” says Kiriro.

 Annoyed by this slyness, Kiriro summoned his siblings and they resolved to be sharing all information about their parents’ requests.

His ageing parents wanted to travel overseas which could cost them Sh600,000.

  “I told him firmly and gently that I would have to sell off a plot of land at Sh400,000 and foot the balance with a Sh200,000 loan from my Sacco,” says Kiriro.  “Since I had another loan, the borrowing of the Sh200,000 would entail my sons changing from their current provincial schools to day ones where I could afford the lower fees,” says Kiriro. Kariro’s dad came to his senses and abandoned trip.

  Kiriro advises those whose parents make weird money demands to show them full implications that the monies involved would have on their lives.

More bills

Ms Terry Wangechi, a businesswoman in Nakuru County, who had a long battle of wits with parents would also foot other bills like water and electricity totaling to about Sh20,000 per month. This excluded occasional contributions to social functions.

She and her brothers resolved to start a dairy project for their parents and closely monitor that the proceeds were put to the right use.

“The three cows we bought now pay for our parents monthly overheads like power, water, cattle feed and drugs and salaries for farm hands with some savings that we keep aside for them,” says Wangechi. The savings are for their parents’ medicare and emergencies. 

Since then, they have never had to fund their parents’ small and unscheduled expenses like travel and harambee donations any more.