By John Muturi

Since my childhood I’ve never been good at eating. It was the cause of many battles between my mother and my elder sister — who stood in when mom was away. As she often put it, I sat there and picked at my food as though I was afraid harm would befall me if I swallowed it!

Unfortunately, I never seem to have fully weaned out of the habit. To date, I often spend an hour picking on my food. I’ve now learnt that most children are faddy eaters at some point in their lives. From an early age, your child will start to have likes and dislikes when it comes to food. Chances are, the situation could pass after a few days, or it may be more

Forcing a child to eat food when being weaned causes food fussiness. By John Muturi

Long lasting. That’s why majority of mothers often complain that their child eats very little. The children have to be coaxed and nagged to eat. Even then, the parents have to sit for hours on end trying to get a meal into the child. Such faddy eaters often spoil mealtimes. If your child is one, it may be easier to serve his or her meal first, allowing other family members to sit down peacefully when the war over food is over. It is interesting to note how often these so-called non-eaters are well covered and obviously perfectly healthy. Clearly they get enough food somehow.

One cause for this food fussiness is forcing a child to eat food when they are being weaned. It is therefore important not to rush a baby into new foods or force him or her to eat what he or she does not want. While it is easy to push food into a four-month-old baby’s mouth, it’s impossible to do so with a determined older child. This is why it is important not to start the habit in the first place.

The reason most mothers get into this habit is maternal anxiety. The mother knows her child needs food to help him or her grow and keep healthy. Beneath this maternal worry however, is a deeper psychological cause; that feeding the baby is a way of showing love, which of course is true. So if the baby or child refuses the food the mother is offering, it is almost as though he or she is rejecting her love as well.

In the book, Childcare Made Simple, author Claire Rayner, says a baby is a remarkable barometer. He can pick up his mother’s feelings very rapidly. He discovers almost before he discovers anything else the one sure way of getting the mother’s undivided attention is to fuss over food. It is very satisfying for the baby when his mother sits with him for an hour or more brandishing a spoon and coaxing and nagging. He enjoys it enormously.

So, a rule of the thumb is never to start coaxing a child to eat. Once he’s is capable of feeding himself with his finger food it should be put in front of him and he should be left to get on with it. If he does not object to being spoon-fed, of course his mother can go on feeding him, but once he or she starts to show signs of fight, that is the time for her to drop the spoon and go away.

It’s wrong to force a baby or a young child to eat because in the end the mother will only succeed in making him or her refuse to eat at all. Meal times then become a misery instead of the fun they ought to be. So don’t force-feed the child no matter how desperately you want him or her to finish her meal. Chances are high it might teach him or her to over-eat with the consequent danger of obesity. Moreover, it helps to end the meal when the child has had enough. On reaching the point they can’t eat any more, give them their freedom. The same applies to an older child who asks to leave the table. There is no harm in some persuasion at that stage, but don’t let it build up into a confrontation, advises Dr Richard C. Woolfson author of the book, A-Z of Child Development.

When the fussy eater is an older child, you’re advised to stop hovering around him or her during mealtimes. Experts say it is likely to make your child anxious about feeding when seeing you hovering about, studying every mouthful he or she takes.

Helping the fussy eater

There are several things you can do to change your child’s fussy eating habits, for instance by serving meals at regular times. Routine is especially important with a fussy eater as it ensures that he or she doesn’t get too hungry or over-tired, which might upset his appetite.

Making food attractive helps faddy eaters to wean from this habit. Sometimes a meal can be unattractive to a child, even though his parents find it very appetising. That’s because eating isn’t just about the quality of food — it’s also about the way the eating experience is perceived by the child.

By allowing you child to often have a choice of what to eat, he or she will approach mealtimes with some enthusiasm.

Being flexible also helps fussy eaters, as young children love to experiment with everything including food. You may not find the idea of beans cooked in milk attractive, but your child may not so let him or her experiment that way if they so wish.

Do as I say but not as I do will not work in changing the fussy eaters habit. If you come home munching a bag of greasy sausages and chips, you can hardly expect your child to behave differently. He or she will copy your bad habits.

One way to encourage him to eat a meal is by involving him in its preparation. He can’t be expected to cook a hot dish, but a two-year-old can put a cup on the table, and a four-year-old can help set out the cutlery.

Knowing that no matter how little the child eats, he or she will not starve helps. The more you worry, the more tense he or she will be at mealtimes.