Kenyan politicians, including Members of the County Assembly (MCAs), are always an interesting group. Many are masters of sweet-talking and luring voters, only to abandon them to pursue their own interests soon after being elected. While some disappear without a trace, others switch lanes and move into posh estates. Here are ten types of MCAs you're likely to encounter in Kenya:
- Missing in action
After winning the election, this MCA shows up for work for only a few months before disappearing. Nobody in their ward knows where they actually live, as their residence within the locality remains deserted. All their phone contacts are switched off. They will only resurface when another election approaches, ready to convince wananchi (citizens) why they need another term to "complete their projects." - Mtu wa watu
Unlike the absentee character above, this MCA doesn't mind mingling with people on the ground. A social being, they are always available when needed. Their phone numbers are functional, and you'll occasionally see them initiating or managing development projects in their ward. - The illiterate chap
If this MCA ever went to school, it's doubtful they reached Grade Five, judging by the kind of English they used during the swearing-in ceremony. Their struggles to converse in the Queen's language-or even Kiswahili-make you think they spent most of their life in the remotest parts of the country. - The stingy one
This MCA is so tight-fisted that even their family doesn't benefit from their position, let alone their constituents. For them, parting with money is an almost impossible task. If you approach them with a financial request, you'll either be swiftly turned away or given a false promise that will never materialise. - The cartel
This MCA's main focus is to fleece the county coffers and enrich themselves by any means necessary. Need a bursary or a tender for any business dealings in their ward? You'll have to come with kitu kidogo (a small bribe), or utakunywa maji (you'll get nothing). This is the MCA who invents fictitious, non-existent projects, with the funds going directly into their pockets. - The tycoon
This MCA is a tycoon, owning vast businesses locally and across the country. All their children are studying abroad, leaving many to wonder why they are so obsessed with an MCA seat when the salary is just a fraction of their earnings from their enterprises. - The lone ranger
Always working alone, this MCA rarely associates with other politicians, even those from their constituency. A true lone ranger, they wear the label with pride. - The absentee
Shortly after winning the election, this MCA relocates to a posh, leafy suburb. To make matters worse, they secure foreign citizenship and now reside abroad, coming to Kenya only occasionally. They manage their ward from overseas, leaving ward matters to the area MP. - The womaniser
This MCA is notorious for scandals involving love and sex. They're either a senior bachelor or have left their spouse in mashinani (the countryside). They're often seen parading different women-if they're not moving around with slay queens, they are luring other people's wives. - Lazy and aloof
This MCA takes close to a year to respond to a sewage leak in their ward. Emergencies, such as fire outbreaks, don't stir them into action either. They rarely attend county assembly meetings, and when they do, they are always late. They seem largely unconcerned about the responsibilities they are meant to handle.
