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Top 10 Bizzare bylaws: Keeping a dog older than four months is illegal in Kenya

By Esther Dianah | June 22nd 2021

Every institution and government has rules; some make sense then there are bizarre ones that get you wondering who implemented them.

If you think it is hard to implement laws, then I will remind you of one politician who tabled a bill to make farting illegal! Even though it didn’t see the light of day, other bizarre laws do exist and here are the ones that made it to the top 10 bizarre bylaws in Kenya.

Dragging a suitcase on the streets is illegal, and so is skating
If you are probably traveling upcountry, with your heavy suitcase trying to maneuver your way through  the congested Machakos country bus stage, for your own good give the mkokoteni guy that business.

It is an offense to drag a suitcase on government property. And if your hobby is to skate or you desire to do it professionally, you can’t practice your jigs on public streets! So keep skating in the CBD but beware of Kanjo.
You can’t enter a house on fire without authorization from senior fire officer

If you leave nyama quarter on the stove as you step out to pick Sukuma wiki from mama mboga. If the unfortunate happens and the choma sets your house on fire and your baby is inside, you can’t
go inside to save the baby, your baby! Insane right? Yes, but that is the law, you have to wait for authorization from the senior fire officer.

That is not all, you are required to pay for the fire services, whether or not you asked for them.
Keeping a dog older than four months is illegal in Kenya
Did you know that your Mbwa Kali sign could be setting you up?  It is illegal to keep dogs older than four months without a license, and you cannot keep more than four dogs. If found guilty for the two, you are liable to a fine.

It is illegal to breed poultry animals that quack. They are a nuisance
If you are keeping ducks, you are almost equivalent to a marijuana farmer. To breed poultry animals that quack is considered illegal because they are a nuisance to neighbours; they are allowed to report you to the authorities for noise disturbance.
Making noise in the streets is illegal

Woe unto you if preaching is your calling and you can’t wait for Sunday to preach on the podium! We respect that the Lord has called you to minister but not in the streets, it is illegal. Come to think of those preaching on the streets, it is like driving straight into the police station at a super high speed, drunk on cheap liquor three hours past curfew!

If they don’t know, maybe someone should tell them. Hawking too is illegal. Which gets me thinking, where will I buy bananas when my stomach rumbles inside a matatu stuck on Mombasa Road traffic?
Thou shall not slaughter an animal in front of the other!
This reminds me of my kinsmen in western Kenya, what happens if you want to slaughter that chicken and the Jogoo that has been eyeing it can’t go away? Maybe slaughter both of them? This way maybe you will escape the offense of slaughtering an animal in front of the other.

Why? Because it is illegal and the constitution protects them under the Prevention of Cruelty
of Animals Act but a vet can put them down if they are a danger to society. What more? Bull fights are also illegal according to Prevention of Cruelty of Animals Act.

If you want, you can have your own street!
Why fight for a road when you can have a whole street named after you? I am referring to the plight of Dr Francis Atwoli, after residents of Karen declined having a road named after the COTU boss.

All he needs is register with the local authority. If approved, he can go ahead level it, pave, channel, light, sewer and install drainage for the street. I believe the astute trade unionist can afford it.

McMillan Memorial Library Act
The act states that the land where the library is built cannot be sold, and if by any chance the land must be sold, the law should be repealed or amended.

Despite all the hustle to amend the law, the building will then be placed under the sites and monuments
Act. The Act which was last amended in 1966 states that the iconic building is the only building that is protected by an Act of parliament: Monuments Act in Kenya.

It is either you are a witch or not. Shams will be jailed for over five years!
At this point I am thinking of Mganga Mashuhuri kutoka Kitui! Posters on city buildings.

The Witchcraft Act forbids anyone to pretend to be a witch. It states that anyone who holds himself as a witchdoctor with intent of pretending to exercise supernatural powers to cause fear or annoyance shall be guilty of an offence and liable to imprisonment for a term not exceeding five years.

And to those seeking those services, it is illegal to use witchcraft to discover the name of a perpetrator of a crime, and you are liable to a fine of Sh500 or a jail term not exceeding five years!  It is actually funny that the District Commissioner is the one who allocates witches where to stay, and any chief that does not report a witch or suspected witch will be jailed for not more than three years.

When it was illegal to walk around broke
So if today broke people and specifically men were restricted from moving around, slay queens would have a field day.  Many years ago, an Act prohibited broke people from moving around in public places.

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