Case of the ex: The best way to get over someone is to get under them
I don’t know why rebound sex gets such a bad rap. Whoever said that the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else knew what they were talking about.
Okay, maybe it is not the most productive way to get over a breakup but neither is moping around in dirty underwear, whining to your friends or eating your weight in junk food.Anyone, who has ever suffered a serious heartbreak, knows that those purported healthy ways to cope with a breakup just don’t wash in real life. Cardio workout? Giving back to the community? Are you kidding me? I am sorry but after going through a devastating heartbreak, I am pretty sure that my first impulse would not be to volunteer at a children’s home.
Don’t get me wrong; It is all well-meaning advice but it doesn’t work. At least not for the first few weeks anyway.
I know it sounds cliché but the truth is, time is the only thing that can heal a broken heart. In fact, experts have identified the exact amount of time you will need to get over a break up.
According to this theory, it takes half the length of the relationship’s duration to get over an ex. For instance, if you had been dating for two years before the break up, it should take you a year to get over him. Now, whether you want to pass that dreary year as a lard-arsed couch potato, being a sourpuss or getting laid is totally up to you. I don’t know about you but I would choose orgasms over the alternatives any day. Sure, sex won’t fill that emotional gap any more than a hot chocolate fudge sundae would but by choosing sex, at least I am assured that I will still have my aesthetic appeal when the one-year recovery period is over and I am ready to jump back into the dating scene.
Rebound sex is awesome when done right and, not to mention, easy to get. I know the menfolk will be shocked to learn this but the average woman has at least five men waiting in the wings. Yes, guys, your fiercely loyal girlfriend has a few men who are next in line in case things go sour in your relationship. I had about seven when I was in my last committed relationship. It was just random men I met along the way that I found sexually attractive but never got involved with owing to the fact that I was in a serious relationship.
It doesn’t hurt to keep their numbers and keep them hopeful that they might get to ‘sample your goods’ one day. When my relationship ended, I called up one of the guys and initiated a friends-with-benefits relationship and while I still grieved the end of my relationship, my FWB provided a nice distraction every once in a while. I can confidently say that it helped me, to some degree, move past the grief. The sex was cathartic.
Even though the arrangement was devoid of deep intimacy, it provided plenty of pleasure. It was also helpful in the sense that I had something exciting to look forward to. Rather than moping around the house in my pajamas, I was dolling myself up for our weekly trysts.
It also worked wonders for my self-esteem. After a break up, it is not uncommon to feel ugly and unwanted. When you have someone sending you daily reminders that you are sexy and desirable, it can really perk up your day. I am also glad that I didn’t have to give up sex for a year as I struggled to get over the heartache from the break up. Having rebound sex doesn’t mean hopping into bed with different men every night in a bid to forget your Ex. Most women don’t have sex indiscriminately.
They are cautious. Rebounding is not about self-destructing or exacting revenge on the Ex either. Sometimes, it is as simple as having your general needs of sex and affection met as you wait to meet the right person. So, while rebounding might be a temporary solution, I see no problem with it. The bottom line is, rebound sex is not as salacious as some people try to make it sound and, band aid strategy or not, it sure as hell beats other coping mechanisms.