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Benpol: My marriage to Anerlisa was all about taking pictures and writing colourful captions, nothing more

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Anerlisa Muigai and musician ex-hubby Ben Pol are engaged in a war of words after  their bitter split.

Barely two months after the divorce, Anerlisa and Ben Pol are trading barbs. Anerlisa does not want Ben Pol to go public with tales of their failed marriage. The musician, currently promoting his latest song, ‘Nyumbani’, told Milard Ayo TV, aTanzanian media outlet that it was a sham.

“Honestly, remove the Instagram posts we used to put up about our marriage, and there is nothing good that I enjoyed or experienced. Our marriage was purely for aesthetics. It was all about taking pictures and writing colourful captions and nothing much,” said Ben Pol.

“I don’t want to demean anyone but I got into a situation to complete someone’s idea of being perfect,” he adds.  

But hours later, Anerlisa shot back with a stern warning to him. “Ben, I see that umenizoea, and you’ve taken my silence for weakness. You’ve always had the right to tell the interviewer not to ask about me…why are you always making me look bad, yet undercover, you send me messages different from what you say? If you really are a man, I dare you to screenshot what you’ve been sending me since December 25, 2022 to January 4, 2023. I have a lot to say about you, but I choose to be a lady. It’s simple. Stop talking about me.”  

Anerlisa posted screenshots of their conversation with Ben Pol over Christmas.

He wrote: “I tried to decorate our Christmas tree, was thinking of you. Christmases are not the same. I want to let you know that I was never with you because of money. In fact, during our relationship, it was the time that I was making the least money in my whole 12 plus_ years career, but I was okay and I never complained about it.”  

A day later, the Tanzanian singer apologised to his ex-wife saying he did not intend to hurt her.

“I want to apologise for the things I said about my marriage during my series of interviews with Millard Ayo, which started broadcasting on January 13. My intention was never to hurt but to share my experience of marriage, an experience I take full responsibility for.

“However, I recognise that my words were hurtful to my ex-wife, and I apologise to her and to the public. While I do want to continue to talk about mental health and speak about my experiences, I will strive to do so in a way that is more mindful and more constructive,” he said. 

Before everything went south, the couple looked like a perfect match. It was love brewed on the sandy beaches of Mombasa. As the cool waves washed their bodies ashore, Ben Pol made his mind about marrying Anerlisa.

The love story that started in 2018 suddenly became a public affair. And in April, while on a holiday in Mombasa, Ben Pol went down on one knee and popped the question, “Will you marry me?” … Anerlisa said yes.  

Ben Pol gave Anerlisa a glittering expensive ring to show his commitment. “It was an expensive piece from me to the love of my life at that particular time,” he said.

On January 26, 2019, Anerlisa introduced Ben Pol to her parents. She even went public on her Instagram page, “I would like to dedicate this day to my love and my husband to be. My life has not been the same since I met you, you have brought so much love, happiness, honesty and calmness into my life. Thank you @iambenpol for being such an amazing human being and for bringing pure happiness into my life. I don’t want to say much but I must say that every day you have surprised me. May God bless you beyond your expectations and give you a long life.” 

From here, things moved fast. Ben Pol paid dowry and went public during an interview with Clouds FM: “Anerlisa and I have future plans. I have even paid for her bride price but I don’t think it will be okay for me to speak about the amount paid,” he said. He also confirmed they had done the traditional wedding.

“We have done the usual traditional undertakings at their home back in Kenya and what remains is just the white wedding.”

A year after their engagement, the couple tied the knot in a private ceremony held on May 31, 2020, at St Gasper Catholic Church in Mbezi Beach, Dar es Salaam. The wedding was only attended by seven people.  

Months later, Anerlisa said it was hard being married to an artiste. “The challenging part about dating an artiste is that you have to keep your body fit all the time,” she shared during a Q&A session on Instagram.  

But their happiness did not last a lifetime. In a past interview, Ben Pol said trouble started in their marriage three months after getting married.

They had a disagreement and they were not speaking for more than a month, resulting in Anerlisa sending him divorce papers.

“When reports emerged on social media that we had split, things were bad, we were not on speaking terms. It is true we had split for about a month and a half. Things were bad to the extent that Anerlisa sent me documents from her lawyers asking for a separation,” said Ben Pol.  

However, the two reconciled in October 2020 until February 2021 when they disagreed again and did not talk for almost a month. “We were good until February 2021 when the bubble burst again. We separated in episodes. We did not speak for three weeks, we tried fixing things, and not long after we were back in the woods and this time things were intense,” he added.  

Months later she dropped the Singer’s name ‘Mnyang’anga’ and unfollowed him on all social media platforms.  

In April 2021, Ben Pol filed for divorce at a Tanzanian court. Speaking in an interview, he said he was tired of the back and forth and toxicity in the marriage.