Dads too, deserve money from their kids

By - Jan 1st 1970

There have been a lot of discussions recently about how fathers end up living lonely life when they become old.

The children don’t care about them and sometimes even invite their wives to live with them. Therefore the dad is left alone in a big house with the company of no one but farm animals.  

For many men, this has led to depression and early death. It is very easy to miss the contribution of fathers in one’s life especially the older generation where your dad took care of your basics but traditions dictated they do it through your mum.

Most of us thought that fees, pocket money, clothing, trips, etc. came from our mums but actually, they came from our dads.

Usually, when one goes through and becomes successful, especially the boy child they will tend to ignore the dads and concentrate on their mothers. Even when one is out of the country they will usually bring their mothers along with the excuse of looking after the grandchildren and forget their dads. I have always wanted to comment on this and good thing I read an article by my good friend Kui Koinange who brought it better than how I could have done it.

This is basically what she wrote: “I want to say something that’s been on my mind, please, care for your fathers. Care for your dads.” 

Then she questions mainly the boy child and some girl child “Why do you not give your retired father some money for his everyday life? Why do you not give your dad some little cash to be able to live a normal life back in the village or neighborhood where he has retired? That way he can be able to purchase basic things and continue with life as he was so used to doing before?”

She says this doesn’t mean drinking alcohol but even being able to go out to meet with his age mates and older friends. Then she goes on and questions “Why will you let your dad be the guy who has to borrow 200 or 500 from local women who had always respected him as one of the elders in the Kijiji, just so that he can feel like he has something in his pocket. Isn’t it always said that a man MUST have something in his pocket?

How is it that you will always put something in Mum’s hand or Mpesa, but never in dads? 

That usually puts him in an uncomfortable position where people avoid him and even give him nicknames just because you can not be considerate enough to think that he too has needs and you know he has no income”. 

She continues and says, “It is not bad to give your mum money but remember whatever you give your mother, she will never give to your dad. She may feed him and run the house, yes, and bless her heart.... but come on... Let’s have some humanity”

Remember that your dad is the one who likely took a major part in your upbringing to let’s take care of them in their old age even if you feel he was too strict on you or made a manly mistake.

Always honour your father and mother and respect them.

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