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No kiss and tell; sharing private chats, photos a trait of weak men

By Awuor Omino | December 5th 2021

I understand our mothers didn’t teach us some vital lessons because they did not anticipate a period where pictures could be taken using phones and shared discreetly between two individuals.

They grew up in an era where a photo man took pictures of you either in the open or in a well-lit studio and only produced the picture a fortnight later.

But we are living in a time where you can video-call and flash body parts, call and send nudes. But a few days later, you regret it.

The closest they ever came to nudity was the lewd magazines from Uganda that had voluptuous women on their covers.

We, therefore, have to learn these lessons on our own because mamas cannot hold our hands.

Rule number one, you cannot send nudes to a man who has nothing to lose. I am talking about men who have been battered with life, lost jobs and suffered heartaches. Trust me, these kinds of men will be the first ones to leak your chats the moment you walk out of their lives.

This species of modern man can only be compared to a young snake that has not learnt to use its venom – a little provocation and it spits poison everywhere.  Did not their fathers teach them the ways of an African man? Our fathers could have been male chauvinists, who ruled their homes with iron fists, but never shared information that was deemed confidential.

It is this ability to discern what to say and what to hold that enabled them to manage polygamy.

They understood their position as the heads of the family and took both roses and their thrones with the same gait. They celebrated the virtues of each woman without exposing any delicate information about each one to the other. They did not dream about exposing our anatomical information unless it was to the village doctor and even then, it was only on medical grounds.

But see what their sons are doing, a little misunderstanding and they share all the secrets.

Their ancestors are turning in their graves wondering from whose loins they came from.

You break up with them and you realise that your intimate chats with him are not safe - they will be used as a chain around your neck to control you after the relationship has died. Every day, you dread waking up one morning to find your private pictures splashed on social media.

These men have proven to us that we constantly have to tread very cautiously with them.

Currently, engaging in an intimate relationship feels like walking a thin rope - you do not know when you will topple over.

We used to fear being cheated on or being lied to, but now, we have to add ‘being exposed’ to that list.

We enter the relationship with the end in mind. We envision what might go wrong and play our cards close to our chests. This is not what we meant when we said we wanted you to embrace your feminine side - we do not want you join us in being petty neither do we want you to whimper and get back at us when a relationship ends.

You are denying us the chance to love you freely because we do not know how far you will go to hurt us when the relationship is done. We are realising that most of you have nothing to lose when it comes to exposing us. If a governor can pull such a lousy card, what about the rest of you?

For the umpteenth time, you are showing us that we can never be safe in your hands.

At this rate, toys with just a little voltage with no brain will suffice – they tell no tales and store no evidence!

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