The long school holiday is here. The school bell has gone quiet, children are home, and the real work of parenting begins. Without lessons, homework and familiar routines, children have more freedom – but also greater exposure to risks.
This is the time to reconnect, establish healthy habits and have conversations that matter.
On the first morning of the holiday, Miriam Mworia found her 14-year-old son still asleep at 11am, his phone charging beside him. Having returned from boarding school the previous evening, he had eaten, showered and gone straight to bed.
Her instinct was to wake him and ask about his report form. But remembering that the first days of a break are often about decompression, not laziness, she let him rest.
When he eventually woke up, he spoke not about his grades but about a teacher who believed in him, a friend who had taken up vaping and a dorm mate who had lost school fees through betting.
Miriam realised that while school provides structure, holidays remove much of it. How children spend that unstructured time can shape them as much as what happens in the classroom.
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With school routines suspended, parents must consider how children will spend their unstructured time.
An earlier NACADA survey found that 48.5 per cent of secondary school students identified holidays as a period when alcohol and drug use was more likely.
Child psychologist Peter Muringuh says this is not because children are inherently troublesome, but because they need guidance to navigate the freedom of school breaks. He notes that the transition can affect children emotionally and physically.
What parents mistake for laziness or moodiness may simply be decompression after a demanding term.
Rather than replicate the school timetable, he advises parents to establish a healthy holiday rhythm with reasonable waking times, reading, play, chores and creative activities. “Children do not need a timetable like school, but a rhythm like home,” says Muringuh.
Counsellor and family coach Wainaina Kiganya identifies three conversations parents should not postpone: drugs and substance use, betting, and sex and relationships.
NACADA’s 2022 survey estimates that 4.7 million Kenyans aged 15–65 use at least one drug or substance, with some children reporting first exposure to tobacco at six and alcohol at seven.
Betting is another concern. Online platforms have made gambling more accessible to young people. Meanwhile, silence around sex and relationships at home leaves many children relying on peers and social media for information.
“Children will hear about these things from social media and friends, but mostly not from parents,” says counsellor Catherine Mugendi.
She advises parents to watch for behavioural changes, such as unusual silence, excessive phone use or withdrawal from family conversations. Rather than interrogate children, she recommends open-ended questions that encourage honest discussions without making them defensive.
Professor Rebecca Wambua, an author of parenting guides and Dean at African Nazarene University, agrees that home should be a safe space for difficult conversations. “When home becomes an extension of the report card, children learn to filter what they share, giving summaries rather than stories.
The holiday is a chance to reverse that,” she says. Screen time is another holiday challenge, with phones, gaming and social media easily taking over children’s free hours.
The WHO recommends no screen time for children under one and no more than an hour daily for those aged two to four. For older children, the American Academy of Pediatrics advocates family media plans rather than fixed hourly limits.
Kiganya advises parents to involve children in setting boundaries around phone use, mealtimes, gaming and bedtime. The goal is not to ban technology but ensure it does not replace sleep, learning, play and family interaction.
Muringuh says supervision should also extend to knowing children’s friends, whereabouts and activities, while watching for behavioural changes.
It is about guidance, not turning the home into a surveillance centre. A sudden shift in mood, sleeping patterns, appetite, friendships or spending habits should prompt a conversation. “When children feel trusted, they tell you more.
When they feel policed, they hide more,” he says. A simple “How was your day, really?” can achieve more than interrogating a child about every movement. NACADA reports that 54.5 per cent of treatment referrals come through family members, highlighting their role in identifying problems and seeking help.
Miriam’s experience shows the value of listening. By giving her son time to settle and opening space for conversation, she learnt more about his world than a report form could reveal.
The holiday is not a break from parenting, but an opportunity to guide, listen and strengthen family bonds without the school timetable. Sometimes, the most important lessons are shared around the family table.