Alliwah
Pulse: Between the two of you, who can rock a crowd better?
Alliwah: Here, I humbly and comfortably take number two but after a bit of a fight. My boy Ofweneke is a great charmer... I bow.
P: What is his worst habit?
A: He can be very noisy and a nuisance. He also likes sleeping even during conversations.
P: Describe him in four words...
A: Great, charming, talented but very stupid.
P: If he were to face a mob, what would he do to stay alive?
A: Oh no! With his small head and the scarecrow face, the guy will pretend to be mad and will probably walk out while scaring everyone else.
P: What other career suits him?
A: A poultry farmer. He has the physique for running after chicken and his smooth words will convince customers.
P: What female celebrity would he easily fall for?
A: Kalekye Mumo. He likes them well-rounded.
P: What does his name remind you of?
A: A clueless 20-year-old boy who has just arrived in the city and has to figure everything out.
P: What kind of student do you think he was?
A: He must have been a smart student who pretended to be saved to avoid the cane.
Dr Ofweneke
Pulse: Between the two of you, who can rock a crowd better?
Ofweneke: Alliwah can rock the crowd only by throwing rocks at them. Nothing else...
P: What is his worst habit?
OK: It must be his walking style. Ever seen him walking?
P: Describe him in four words...
O: The village calico.
P: If he were dropped into an angry mob, what would he do to stay alive?
O: He will most likely sing Nerea to get sympathy.
P: What other career suits him?
O: He can be a billboard. His forehead is big enough to place an advert on.
P: What female celebrity would he easily fall for?
O: (laughs) Kansiime.
P: What does his name remind you of?
O: Alliwah... sounds like a madman who used to apply maize flour on his face because he believed he was born a white man.
P: What kind of student do you think he was?
O: He looks like the type who requested the fourth foolscap when you were still on your first.
