Hi Uncle Ted,
I’m Dan from Ongata Rongai. I am 22 years old and wish to be hooked up with a sugar mummy for a mutually beneficial relationship. I am only interested in having a good time with her.
Dear Dan,
Clearly, the firm breasts, flat bellies and thunder thighs of virile girls your age do not interest you, which is a good thing. Flabby, pot-bellied men your father’s age will sort them out while you navigate the tired folds of flesh on the bellies of women your mother’s age.
Remember, however, that in his rant against the adultery of Oholah and Aholibah, the Prophet Ezekiel angrily spat: “There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses. Yet, she multiplied her harlotries, remembering the days of her youth...”
Son, I hope your emissions are like those of horses and that you are a donkey (or is it an ass?) so to speak. But as your sugar mummy multiplies her harlotries, remembering the days of her youth, another donkey will replace you. And then you will learn that she was the one having a good time while you were just a daft, lazy ass sowing seed on barren rock!
