Suppliers of donkey and dog meat around the country are counting losses, following the move by Nairobi City County to ban food hawking. The suppliers say that Nairobi was their biggest market as their products were used widely in making samosas, which are then hawked in the streets. With the ban now in place, the donkey and dog meat ‘farmers’ are now staring at poverty in the face.
The farmers have now warned that their children risk dropping out of school if the situation does not change. “Just like with dairy, tea and sugarcane farmers, we have been able to educate our children through the proceeds of these precious animals... but now the county government of Nairobi City is seeking to undo all that,” lamented one ‘farmer’.
To compound the matter even further is the fact that they would have found a ready market in South Korea. The problem, though, is that the last time a prominent South Korean visited the country, corruption allegations against her surfaced almost as soon as she had landed back in her country.
“Now everyone there is suspicious of Kenyans and anything Kenyan because they are worried that even our meat products might be contaminated with the corruption genes,” said one dog farmer who was denied a visa to Seoul, despite having all the right papers.
The disgruntled farmers are now demanding that the national government take them seriously and resolve the matter since they sector has created numerous jobs.
Dog meat samosas
“In fact once this issue is sorted out we want to be allowed to exhibit at the various agricultural shows in the country,” said one donkey farmer. “In fact, even the county governments should start offering artificial insemination services for donkeys and dogs so that we can get the best breeds! It’s time Kenyans we put the best products on the tables and plates of Kenyans!”
Equally unhappy with Nairobi City County’s decision are the manufacturers of stomach upset relievers. The chemical industrialists are worried about poor business prospects as the food hawking ban will mean fewer people will be clutching their stomachs running around grimacing as they look for a place to relieve themselves.
Without Nairobians eating samosas and other delicacies stuffed with dog and donkey meat, the stomach upset reliever makers reason, the majority of their market share will have been destroyed.
“If Nairobians stop eating dog and donkey meat there will be very few people suffering from stomach upsets... our sales will drop... heavens help those who run public toilets... they will not be able to meet their daily revenue targets from now on!” said the brand manager of a stomach upset reliever known as Hino.
“Think of the job losses before you enforce such a decision!” Cynics, or any Kenyan who has lived long enough to lose hope in the political class, have also condemned the ban, saying donkey meat is the national food as it best represents how Kenyans collectively bear the burden of the country’s elites.
“In fact, in the next-generation currency notes and coins, the ass should be featured prominently as it best represents the majority of Kenyans!” added one wag. Others who were not amused by the food hawking ban announced by the county government of Nairobi City were burglars and other criminal elements.
This is because without dogs being slaughtered every day for meat purposes, there would be too many of them guarding homes at night making their jobs impossible. They have gone on to urge the city county government to rescind the decision or forget their votes.
