What to do when you are constantly fighting with your spouse

‘Is it worth it?’ That’s usually the question on one’s mind when their relationship has hit the rocks. And while it’s understandable to have doubts and question everything, not all relationships should be thrown out of the window on the first sight of turbulence; well, some do, but that’s a story for another day.

Some of us spend too much energy fighting and arguing in our relationships that we even lose sight of why we got together. Yes, fights will always be there in any form of relationship, but a line needs to be drawn as to what’s worth fighting for and what’s not.

Healthy fighting is meant to make you gain a deeper understanding of your partner and vice versa, but when it spills over to the extent that you lose yourself in the process, then you know it’s time to quit.

Over some drinks this weekend, a friend was telling me how he’s constantly fighting with his girlfriend over what he termed as ‘petty issues.’ He went on and on, then I posed a question to him, ‘are you contemplating on leaving her?’

‘She’s a great woman, kind and reasonable, I don’t think I’d want to lose that over such small issues, we have braved so many storms together, plus there are some goals we have set and are yet to be accomplished.’

People always know what they want, and they always stay where they feel loved and appreciated.

Having a specified goal in a relationship goes a long way in strengthening the bond you two share. Start by drawing up your plans as an individual then sit down together and discuss; at the end of it, you’ll come up with a common goal(s) which will always act an anchor point for when you stray from your path. Of course, learn to involve God in all your plans, especially if they’re long term.

It’s easy to get lost in the façade that the grass is greener on the other side, but verily verily I say unto you, that’s the biggest lie you can tell yourself. Someone took their sweet time to water their grass; they braved the scorching sun, hardships, and the labor to attain those results.

Relationships are no joke; work needs to be done on both fronts in order to move forward. The ‘green’ effect is only achieved after a series of mistakes, corrections, fights, makeups, hard work, perseverance, dedication, and, most importantly, having a common goal to achieve together.

Instead of lusting over someone else’s green pasture, why not water your own, but always ask yourself, “Is it worth it.”