Six men you are likely to date in campus

I fear campus men more than I fear hunger and poverty. It is as if the devil and Kenyan politicians bumped fists and campus men were born. If I had a choice, I would vote for female only campuses.

They are bad, without trying. This is not to say that they are not easy to charm their way into one's heart, and pants. You could have your guard higher than our country’s corruption and they will still wiggle their way in and make you fall for them. Here are six men you are likely to date.

The drunk

This one got to university and got drunk on freedom before he found his way to the local where drinks are as cheap as a slay-queen. He probably sells some illicit items on the side. Still, he shows up to your door every night, with liquid courage, and you let him in because he remembered only you when he was drunk. What you don’t know is that he called all his ten girlfriends who hang up on him

The player

He is most probably in one of the biggest clubs on campus. How he operates is a mystery bigger than the disappearance of the Malaysian plane. His other girlfriend is your best friend. He calls all of you babe and such endearing terms, only because he cannot be bothered enough to remember your names. Two people on campus claim to have children by him. In his free time, he spreads herpes.

The bookworm

Your parents would approve of this one. He has his goals in check. He is religious enough to tick all the societal boxes. Most of your dates are walks from the library to the hostel. When he wants to kiss you, he asks two days in advance. More often than not, this one is dumped. In his later years, he marries a slay queen.

The sports buff

The muscles are the only great thing about this one. He is mostly dated for the ‘dating market value’. To stay relevant and go on trips in the school bus, you date him and cheer him on as he plays. It is highly likely that he has a wife at home.

The cool one

He doesn’t show up to school. He rolls up. He has connections to every cool spot on campus and is the president of the truant and time-wasting association. He is pursuing his degree for his parents. He wants to be a model. What is exciting about him is that he knows everyone and everything. He fails in school but thrives on the streets.

The older guy

This one is the worst. He comes in form of a young lecturer or a post-graduate student. He is mature, which is new and refreshing. It is all fun and giggles until you stumble upon his wife and two children who come after each other like staircases.