The Local: Hairy pussy and ‘kichwa fry’

There is a pussy at the local. It is a hairy pussy. Some sots like stroking it gently while ruining their liver. This hairy kinyau was brought by Nyambu Sinyorita as Karao Kiprop now calls her.

Calling a counter girl Sinyorita (without her squinting with kinyoriro) got the soberly wise suspecting Karao Kiprop was the ubwa who separated Nyambu from her fudhi using a makasi while on a kurarua mashuka session at Raha Yangu Bar & Lodging.

Back to the pussy. It sleeps at the counter, from where it applies saliva lotion all day while purring as the world passes by.

It stretches itself like a bouncer doing press-ups when a regular sot saunters in before sizing the muffled aura of Wa-Hannah’s with one eye, the other closed, as if kutoshanisha raiya.

The kinyau then pricks its ears in a kaa rada stance of one eavesdropping on pub mushene: Whose long-suffering wife is being ‘serviced’ by some random hot makanga, nani amesota, who has contracted kaswende and kisonono and such bar 4-1-1 that adds nothing to human intelligence.

This hairy pussy was added to the Wa-Hannah family for the express purpose of decimating the annoying local rat population.
But it has gotten other ideas on how to dispense with rodent diet after realising Waka-Knife’s meat can be shared when a patron orders for quarter; at which the kinyau must wonder while snoozing at the counter: “Nyama quarter kwani ni ya kutega panya?”

Kang’ethe at one point ordered kichwa fry na pili pili mbili and the cat relinquished its position at the counter for the new role of staring at Kang’ethe with a woiye look before daring him to be sufficiently philanthropic by clawing his trousers followed by a ‘meeoow!’ kuomba serikali style purring with a hint of menace.

This pussy is picky, sneering at bones and other body parts like open goat eyes.
Kang’ethe proved he was a good striker with Mihang’o Sharpshooters when, irritated, he kicked its kahasho such that it was barely alert enough to hold on to the pony tail of Papa English, who in turn let out one of those mayowes maternity nurses are familiar with.