My guy has HIV, but I don’t

I’m 24 years old and I live in Nairobi. I have been dating a man who is HIV positive and although we have had unprotected sex many times, I tested negative.

My dilemma is how we shall have babies. I love him so much and I don’t want to lose him.

{Jenny}

The Counselor’s say

There are many discordant couples living together and having babies today, but they do that with the help of professional medical attendants.

You are putting yourself at an unnecessary risk by having unprotected sex with your boyfriend. You can’t play a ‘maybe I will, maybe I won’t’ game with HIV! Plus, your boyfriend could get arrested for knowingly infecting you with the virus.

Doctors are paid to attend to couples like you. Use them and their expertise. You want a baby that bad, then start behaving like an adult and future parent and be responsible enough to seek medical advice. Getting yourself infected is not the answer.

Your Say

Although it is?consensual,?your boyfriend should be arrested and jailed for knowingly spreading HIV and taking advantage of your?naivety. You are stoking fire and checking if it has burnt you. With all the information on HIV, perhaps you, too, should be arrested because chances are you will spread it. Do you hate yourself that much? ?I am shocked. {Angel Atieno}

Congratulations to both of you for knowing your HIV status. You said you are negative while your guy is positive. You can go ahead and have children, but?you should first visit a doctor who will advise you on how to go about it. Follow all the rules and you will be parents to HIV negative children.  {Irene Maghuwa, Mombasa}

The fact that you are having unprotected sex with him means you have already made up your mind about settling down with him. It is possible to have HIV-negative children even if the parents are HIV-positive. Just see your doctor for advice. {Aseri W Dickson, Nairobi}

There are several aspects you need to consider before having babies with the man you’re dating. It’s absurd that you value your love more than your life. Please don’t get pregnant because there is a high chance that the innocent child will be infected with HIV. {Fes Mckoy, Nairobi}

I hope you visited a Voluntary Counselling and Testing (VCT) centre together for the tests.  The VCT counsellors should advise you on how to get a HIV-negative child.  For now, avoid unprotected sex because you might end up getting infected. {Julius Kipkorir Sigei, Kericho}

By protecting you from infection, I think God is giving you a chance to get out of this relationship. HIV and Aids are real Jenny?and there is a high chance of getting a HIV-positive child. {Elisha Barasa}

You should consult a VCT counsellor to assist you. With the right precautions, it is possible to get HIV-negative children even when you are HIV-positive. {Vivian Omu Tets, Kericho}