Hello LVCT
I have just realised that my sister is dating my boyfriend. I confronted my dude and he confirmed that it is true and that they have been together for the six months. I am torn in between and I don’t know whether to kill my sister, my boyfriend or both. I am so angry. What should I do? Please help!
Veronica
Hello Veronica,
It’s good that you try to talk to somebody, because this is a very challenging situation to deal with. Being betrayed by somebody you love is hard enough, being betrayed by two persons you love hurts even more. We acknowledge that your boyfriend was honest with you, even when he let himself to have this relationship for quite some time. But the best thing is that now you know exactly what you have to deal with.
First you should ask yourself what you really want. Can you forgive your boyfriend? If no, what does it mean to you? The same goes for your sister. Can you forgive her? If no, does this have any consequences?
It will probably be harder to deal with the situation with your sister. You will still be a family and you will see each other constantly in your live. So you should try to talk to her, but only after you have calmed down. Listen to her point of view and give her the chance to explain. Remember you don’t have to forgive her, but you both need to find out a way to live together!
You mentioned that you are thinking of killing your sister. But, have you thought of what it means for you to kill your sister? Will it solve the problem or will you add salt to a sore?
With your boyfriend the situation is hard, too. You loved him, and you were together for a long time. You always have a very strong relationship when you are dating somebody, and it is very hard when you feel betrayed by somebody you have trusted before.
You have to ask yourself if you want to give your relationship a second chance. If yes, you need to talk to him a lot so that you can start trusting him again. You need to start all over again and start at point where you both agree you want the relationship to go. That means that you need to forgive him! Remember a strong relationship is based on mutual trust, therefore if you decide to move on with him, then you both need to start building the trust in your relationship.
If you don’t want to give that relationship a second chance, you should also talk to him, tell him about your feelings and that you don’t think that you can’t trust him again and you don’t want a relationship without trust. Be assertive on decision you make.
Just talk to a close friend or relative and talk about your feelings, that might help you feel at ease and help you to pick up the broken pieces and move on.
