The suave gold diggers

By Vitalis Kimutai

There is a new breed of men in town. Some well educated and others semi-literate — but all are street smart and suave.

They pass off as businessmen or deal makers.

Most have ‘offices’ but no physical address, neither do they have a specific line of business. They are Jacks-of-all-trades.

You will mostly find them idling away in trendy clubs, bars, eateries and five star hotels ostensibly waiting for ‘business’ contacts or associates.

They will have a bunch of car keys dangling from their hands or placed prominently on the table alongside their Blackberry phones. Almost invariably, they are dressed in designer suits or sportswear with shoes polished to a high sheen.

But in reality they are gold diggers, fortune hunters lying in wait for prey.

Their target is well to do with women, single or married, but with a preference for widows, the divorced or those separated from their spouses.

They have contacts in the hotels, mostly waiters who spy on the women and supply them with background information on their social status and their vulnerability.

Edwin, a waiter at a five star hotel in Nairobi, says the men will go to any lengths to make contact with the prey they have spotted.

Specialise in widows

"When you see them, you would be forgiven for thinking they are successful businessmen or men on the fast lane. But they are smooth operators with an eye for women’s purses," Edwin says.

They befriend the women, learn their weak points and exploit them to the full.

Many women fall for their trick, Edwin says.

Some of the men specialise in widows and pretend to offer them emotional support and to help them sort out the many problems bedevilling them after the death of their spouses.

Some even go through the obituary pages in the newspapers searching for well to do men who have died, Peter, a room attendant at a three star hotel in Nakuru, says.

He adds, "Once they have found one, they establish contact with the relatives to get background information on the widow and the children."

This done, the vulture starts attending meetings to make funeral arrangements, with an eye firmly on the widow.

After the funeral, he hovers around and contacts the widow in the pretext of finding out how she is doing, sounding genuinely concerned about her plight.

If she falls for the bait, he uses all the tricks in the book to cling to and exploit her financially.

"Most of the men I know who are in the game drive posh cars bought by their victims," says Alice, a marketing executive with a Nairobi-based multinational bank.

To elevate their social status, the men shrewdly hire cars from rental firms for use on dates with the women they are after, she reveals.

Alexandria, a businesswoman in Thika who has been a victim of a fortune hunter, says these men have perfected their art such that one only realises too late that she has been duped.

Exchanged contacts

"I came across this guy at a social function and he was so charming that the next thing I knew, we had exchanged contacts. Days later we had a coffee date, lunch and dinner. The rest, as they say, is history," says Alexandria, who imports garments from Europe.

Six months into the relationship, she realised that she was heavily indebted, having been duped into funding some non-existent joint venture.

"A friend persistently urged me to do a thorough background check on the guy. Initially, I was sceptical and thought she was envious of the relationship, but I was devastated when the truth emerged later," she says.

She was shocked to discover that the man she had come to trust was a pathological liar with mistresses across town and had fleeced a number of other unsuspecting widows and businesswomen.

But it was too late. When she tried getting her money back, it proved impossible as there were no records to show money had changed hands between them. Everything had been done on the basis of trust.

The man started ignoring her phone calls and finally blocked her calls from getting through to his phone.

All in all, she lost a whopping Sh1.2 million besides what they had spent on social outings.

"I will recoup the money somehow, however long it takes, then pick up the pieces and move on. But I will never forgive myself for falling into the trap. Plus, I will never again trust a man who is not my father," she says bitterly.

Social functions

A woman I met recently at a hotel in Narok told me that women, especially those on the fast lane socially, are especially vulnerable as they rarely have the time to do a background check on the men they meet and develop relationships with at social functions or in the course of their businesses.

"Men ought to know that successful women are human beings with feeling and emotions and need to be loved. But the higher up they go, the more isolated they get and few men dare seduce them," she says.

David, a designer, says such women fall for smooth talking, urbane looking men who package themselves as gentlemen but with the aim of fleecing the women.

Henry, who has played the game for five years, says," Hooking such women is a game some of us have perfected. What one needs is patience but you must know when to strike."

The man, who is in his late 30s, says he once managed to have three such women at a go but it called for delicate balancing.

"Their demands are high and they not only want your time but attention as well," he says.

Some of the men do not know how much it costs to rent a house as they are housed by the women, some of who live in their own houses while others have rental ones.

"If you hook a woman who owns a house, what’s the point of renting one of your own?" Peter asks.

He adds, "It is always good to have two women on the side so that when the inevitable happens and you get kicked out by the one you are living with, you take refuge in the home of one of the remaining two."

Undivided attention

A common perception is that it is difficult to squeeze a shilling out of women, who instead expect to get money from men irrespective of their status in society.

"Struggling women expect money from men, but serious and able women spend money on their men as they want to have them at their beck and call," says Charles, a Kitale-based trade unionist.

He said that when a woman invests her money on a man, she wants him to look good in public and give her his undivided attention.

"It is like having a well oiled machine," says Charles.

"It is supposed to give you good service and take you wherever you want without disappointment."

He blames some of the women who fall victim to gold diggers for seeking comfort from strangers.