- Anorexia is a psychological eating disorder
- Persons with anorexia have an extremely low body weight relative to the Body Mass Index
- This eating disorder is the result of a combination of several factors
My name is Aliza Rajan, 24. I am an event organiser, blogger and model. I also run a shisha lounge. I won the Miss India Kenya title in 2015.
I started developing anorexia in 2010 after my transition to high school. This happened before I competed in the Miss India pageant. I was anorexic for about six months.
The modelling industry puts tremendous pressure on girls to be thin. I was still in school when I developed anorexia.
I link my being anorexic to the attendant mental and physical rigours of modelling.
When I started skipping meals and eating tiny portions of food, I did not know that it was an eating disorder. I sensed that something was wrong, but I could not put a name to it.
I think that, at the onset, many people do not know they have anorexia. One never knows what it is, until people start telling you that you have a problem.
It got so bad that I was not eating at all. Or, I would order French fries and nibble two little potato chips.
In the morning I normally skipped breakfast, which affected my concentration throughout the day. For lunch, I ate an apple or a few nuts. For supper, I ate a spoonful of curry and one chapati.
I had a phobia of eating. Even if I ate one meal, I had fears that my weight would balloon.
With such a diet, I was not getting the amount of calories that I needed. Around that time, my weight was around 40 kilos … and it was going south at an alarming rate.
For my Body Mass Index, my weight was supposed to be around 52-60 kilos.
I did not just want to look thin, but I wanted to go to unhealthy extremes. Even when I was losing weight, I still did not perceive it.
That’s the trap with anorexia; you want to keep going and going … and if nobody stops you in time, you can be a goner.
Anorexia affected everything around me, from my studies to my social life. I was always conscious of how I looked and appeared.
It messed up my confidence and self-esteem. It affected my moods, concentration and how I perceived things.
My skin was also affected because I was not drinking enough water. My skin was very dry. I noticed that I would get eczema.
Fortunately, I went to Canada in 2011 and, while there, I took the initiative to see a professional and start getting help.
When I returned to Kenya, I realised that, in other countries, anorexia is not a hushed subject. In Canada, I could speak about my disorder and not get judged.
It is extremely difficult to get out of the clutches of anorexia by yourself. You need a support system.
While you are in it, you try to shut it out, although you realise that you have a problem. But it is not easy to accept that you need help.
I think that a lot of it has to do with society’s judgmental proclivity.
My parents were concerned and supportive. They did not try to hide it. They encouraged me. You need that support where your mom says, “I’m making this. It’s your favourite. You’ll eat it”.
Still, it was hard for me to start eating larger portions of food. My stomach had become smaller.
When I was told to eat, it was not easy to eat a full meal. I actually felt very sick. Even now, I eat small portions, but very often; like every one to two hours.
I studied psychology. I am now helping girls who are battling eating disorders. I organise beauty pageants that cater for models in all shades of skin.
As long as you can walk and carry the clothes, you are good to go. I am embracing different body shapes and sizes because I feel that, to combat eating disorders, we should all be allowed to be bold and beautiful in our skins.
