Natural 'leg-warming' with a man on Whatsapp could lead one into leased marriage

It started very innocently.

“Hi..how are you?” ...This must have been a stray call.

This was the message I found and a quick scan of my Whatsapp Call Log revealed that I had indeed dialed his number.

In our subsequent conversation, we exchanged names and professional information which revealed that we are in the same group - which might explain how I accidentally called him.

In the hours that followed, we spoke of previous events and mutual friends. He is my senior in every way. He was witty and very exuberant; his charisma came off the page.

Being a sucker for a smart, well-off and eloquent man, I was a moth to a flame.

He liked my profile picture. He thought I was very beautiful and wanted a picture of me sans spectacles.

I rejoined with a request for any photo of him as I was yet to a face to the man I was conversing with.

When he updated his profile picture, I was hooked to the screen. He looked well. Strong and handsome and well fed - older. He must have a keeper, I thought to myself.

Still, the witty back-and-forth was exhilarating. That I won some and lost some was exciting. Finally, a beautiful man who could engage my left brain!

When the conversation turned to his uselessness due to the over excitement I caused, I took a break...for the night.

When two days later I was still quiet, he made an innocuous jab about my warm “bunker”. I was in stitches. I liked him. He had a knack for making me laugh.

I had told myself that I would keep it innocent, that I would not allow any untoward conversation to take place. I failed.

Our next conversation was about the “chilly weather”. The exchange turned to the wearing of leg warmers which resulted in a reference to a natural leg-warming method. Hahaha! How skilled this man was at innuendos.

Again, his boldness was attractive. Really, anything he did was attractive. I was besotted. But my attraction did not negate his marital status and this was his most unattractive quality for I treasure commitment.

My not so subtle reference to his warming someone else resulted in the shattering of my bubble. Apparently, leg warmers are shared, with and without permission and sometimes with leasing arrangements.

“How exactly does the leasing arrangement work?” I asked intrigued. To my knowledge, Kenya does not have open marriages; at least not openly advertised open marriages.

It is a question I should not have asked for it portrayed me as incredibly innocent which was not an image I wanted him to have. And perhaps this is why he took a rather long pause. His response was to ask when I intended to “inspect” the property.

I was floored. Aghast yet somewhat impressed by his boldness. I have since realized that while blessed with charisma and charm, his confidence is as a result of honed skills in flirting.

He is a professional. I, on the other hand, am not. I do not know how to play this game and how to protect my heart from wanting more so I choose to steer clear and not conduct any inspection.

Further, no matter how attractive he is, I will not date a man who thinks there exists room for “leasing agreements” in a committed, monogamous relationship. If he cheats on her with me, what prevents him from cheating on me?

Besides, his wealth will not satisfy all my needs and his charm will not keep me warm at night. When most of his attractive qualities come to pass, what will I be left with?

Besides, "If you marry (lease) a monkey for his wealth, the money goes and the monkey remains as is." ~ Egyptian proverb.