By Bill Odunga

It is easy to spot the new kids on the campus block, otherwise known as freshers. They walk with a cloud of fear and naivety that make them stand out from a crowd like a sore thumb.

If I could get into their heads, I would probably hear their conscience dissuading them from talking to members of the opposite sex, because their parents warned them that campus is Sodom of sorts (which it is).

Girls are warned not to spread-open any part of their bodies to anyone, except their arms for the Good Lord above. Boys are fore-cautioned to keep as far away from girls as honour from a politician.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

My mother was no exception, though she added a different twist to her cautionary tales by handing me a packet of condoms on my day of admission. Which was rather off beat because she is the same person who taught me the lessons of abstinence till marriage.

duplicity

Of course, I rejected the packet of latex only to check into my room and find the custodians had stashed my drawer with a handful of Government subsidised rubber. There was no running away from it.

So the other day when the principal of our college was addressing freshmen about sexual abstinence, I couldn’t help but snicker at the duplicity and pretense in his soliloquy. He took up the role of dad and schooled the rookies on the importance of abstinence.

From the look on the faces of some of the greenhorns, I could spot confusion considering they had found ‘greeting cards’ in the form of packets of condoms in their wardrobe cabinets. I could see them asking what they are supposed to do with them. Blow them up and decorate their rooms withal?

Sex is real kids, and it’s a beautiful experience. I need not delve any further.

However you must understand that when my mother handed me that packet of condoms, she wasn’t handing me a license to engage in hanky panky business. She was caring.

Guys, no matter the close resemblance she has to Huddah Monroe, just remember that in her is not just the illusion that Addis Ababa is a country, but also the potential of a venereal disease.

Girls, no matter how good it feels to have it ‘raw’, just remember that there is a new law: No glove, no love. No hat, no cat. No banana with a peel, no monkey you should feed.

Don’t strap up just for your mother. Do it for you.