Etiquette for couples

By Jackie Ojiambo

Etiquette and manners matter in any relationship. This is true both when you are with your spouse and also whenever either of you is in contact with any other person.

The following actions are the most common ways couples show disrespect to each other in public.

Ignoring each other

Jack and Jill are having coffee with three of Jill’s friends and Jill devotes her attention to her friends. Throughout the evening, Jill does absolutely nothing to draw him in the conversation. Jack feels like the flower vase on the table and Jill’s friends leave without ever really getting to know him. Ignoring your partner is a sin of omission and leaves them feeling not valued by you or your friends.

Putting down each other in public

Couples can tease each other from time to time, but when it progresses to hurtful comments, it can wound a relationship. Spouses know each other’s sore points all too well. By putting them down whether in public or private — the message conveyed is, “Don’t count on me to support you.”

Interrupting each other

Interrupting your spouse is disrespectful, demeans them and makes them feel like their comment is not worth hearing. Most of the time this habit is apparent to everyone except the person doing the interrupting. Spouses need to practice letting each other finish their statements before making their own comments or observations.

Failing to introduce your spouse

Introductions matter — and not just at parties. They matter when Jack and Jill bump into a business colleague of Jill’s in the supermarket. Instead of introducing Jack, Jill acts as if he is not there, while she and her colleague begin going through the details of business proposal they are working on. Next thing you know, Jack has gone to the mens’ clothes section.

Be all-inclusive in public

Don’t let your coupledom dominate other people. A floorshow in which you entertain your fellow guests with anecdotes about your life together, your mishaps, your home and family is just another way to make everyone else excluded. Concentrate on looking outwards, not turning inwards. Don’t cling together in social situations. Handholding, touching, huddling together... this body language will send out the message that you’re an impregnable couple, with no interest in anyone else.

Fighting in public

Don’t row in public. If tensions are growing, read the signs and take it home. Nobody should be forced to witness the spectacle of fighting couple.