BY ERIC LUNGAI

An assistant chief in Emuhaya Constituency, Vihiga County, was shocked when an elderly woman reported to his office demanding that he arrests her husband for trying to introduce her to strange ‘styles’ in bed.

Weird

The woman, in her early 60s, decided not to keep mum after the ordeal and went to the chief’s house first thing the next morning to report what she termed as the most ‘weird experience’ of her lifetime.

“We have been married for the last 40 years and we have several children, grandchildren and even one great-grandchild. I have never experienced such crazy treatment from my husband,” the angry woman told the administrator.

Speaking to Crazy Monday, the assistant chief, who is comparatively a toddler because he is his early 40s, said it was the strangest thing ever reported to him in the ten years he has served as a Government officer in the area.

Clandestine

Close sources revealed to this writer that the woman’s husband had acquired a young clandestine lover whom they suspected was teaching the old dog new tricks.

“The mzee has been roving around with some girl younger enough to be his granddaughter. She is most likely the one who has been teaching the old man some funny things he should never have tried at home. She is to be blamed for this trouble,” complained a close family friend.

Shame

The assistant chief said the elderly woman had not just threatened but vowed to go back to her ancestral home and ‘rot’ there if her husband was not arrested and put behind bars for subjecting her to that sort of torture and shame.

“I am not a prostitute. I’m respectful church-going woman; a mother-in-law and a grandmother. I’m, therefore, disgusted and insulted by some of the things my husband tried to force me to do yesterday,” she told the chief.

Tongue-tied, the assistant chief realised he had never been trained to deal with anything of that nature.

He mulled over the matter in silence for several minutes then asked her to report the matter to senior elders in her husband’s clan. It is them, he said, who would be better placed to advise her 65-year-old husband against his sudden ‘strange and un-African’ demands at home.

“The mzee is old enough to be my father and there is just no way I could have faced him or discussed a matter that delicate with him,” said the assistant chief.