For your relationship with a geek to blossom, you’ve got to understand his world, delve into it and familiarise with his fascination, writes GARDY CHACHA

They wear centimetres thick glasses, dress like the world is not watching and speak in a lexicon only understood in nerd vine.

They appear creepy to many because they live in a world of their own where atoms play around each other to release energy in quanta, DNA particles interact with the environment to create phenotypes or the earth is revolving at a speed that is likely to throw it off its orbit.

None of these is sexy to attract most women. And it’s not only that. Imagine dating or living with a man who understands the fundamental needs of ‘mating’, but can’t fathom the essence of love.

In the sitcom comedy The big bang theory, Dr Sheldon Cooper, a young particle physicist in his mid-twenties, is dating another academically furnished young lady, Amy Fairfowler.

The only problem is he thinks their relationship is only ‘of the mind’ and can’t get physical. In an absurd way of keeping the boundaries between them intact, he has crafted and prepared for signing a relationship agreement; a draft that binds them all to the clauses in it.

Of course that is taking it to the extreme, but a nerd’s idea of love seems to be different from common understanding and have no time for lovey-dovey stuff. They simply don’t know how to appreciate a woman’s beauty such that instead of telling her she looks pretty, talks of active atoms in her lotion reacting with her skin cells, in the process damaging her melanin. This does nothing, but turns her off.

Then, what could be the possibility of hatching and successfully cultivating a relationship with a nerd?

Some women would love to date a nerd because they are easy to deal with and don’t insist on a woman’s need to be perfectly presentable.

Rehema Mbodze, in her 20’s agrees it’s hard dating a nerd, but holds that it would be worth trying if she is really into the guy.

“As a woman, you’ll know when things are working out; if it’s worth giving it a shot. Nerds are nice people and if you can bring yourself to understand their realm of thinking then things will work out,” she says.

Jackline Wanjiku has been in a relationship with a nerd before. First it looked like a casual friendship and as time went by, they began spending a lot of time together.

Most of their conversations circled around mundane things like the weather, and it would veer into the oblique facts of science and recorded history of the universe. They rarely talked about being in love, though once or twice sweet scented grammar like ‘my love’ would chirp into place.

Own world

The first time they got intimate, it lasted a mere four minutes. The only romantic thing he ever said after he was done was explaining the biological mechanism that leads into ejaculation and how he understood it much better now that he had experienced it.

When Jackline couldn’t take the dry love anymore, she broke up with him, but he never seemed as hurt. All he said was he would miss their friendship.

Psychologist Dr Chris Hart says nerds will always be preoccupied with their world of knowledge and if you are in a relationship with one, you should understand that you may never be the first thing in his mind. However, they are trustable and unlikely to be either unfaithful or violent towards a woman.

“Some nerds are socially skilled and are easy to date, though they can be very quiet and reserved,” he adds.

Dr Hart also mentions that nerds are not the kind of people to nurture a relationship with romance. Since women love being told sweet things even when it doesn’t matter, there is a real possibility of hitting a snag waiting for him to come around it someday.

It is worthwhile understanding that nerds are not as life driven as other men and hence have difficulties in expressing love for a woman.

In order for your relationship with a nerd to blossom, you’ve got to understand his world, delve into it and familiarise with his fascination. You’ve got to be preoccupied with something so that your timing around your love life runs concurrently.

Like Steve Harvey says in his book Act like a lady, think like a man, men are driven by who they are, what they do, and how much they make. In the case of nerds, what they do and who they are play a big role in identifying with one.

Contrary to popular opinion, nerds can make good boyfriends/husbands because they are happy to have someone who really understands them.