Otuma Ongalo
For more than 2,000 years, the world has waited with great expectations the coming back of the Messiah.
It has been a long wait for the son of Nazareth and millions of Kenyans who subscribe to Christian faith look forward to that special occasion.
Tomorrow, we celebrate the birth of the messiah and with it come fresh hopes that it won’t be long before the promised day.
The day, the time and the place Christ will choose for his comeback is not known. Chances of appearing in Kamukuywa are as high as that of reappearing in Bethlehem.
However, it would be a great mistake if the son of man makes Kenya his destination and probably adopt the country as his home.
He will be in for a rude shock should he attempt to seek top leadership position. For a start, his background will do him in. The man born in a manger, amid the suffocating smell of cow dung, will find the going tough in a battle with some of the individuals born with silver spoons in their mouths.
Apart from trekking, the son of man’s other mode of transport is donkey ride. Even if it takes donkey years, he will stand no chance against chopper hopping rivals.
Opponents and voters will make fun about his marital status. They will declare that a man never known to "own" a wife cannot even become a village elder. They will point out that the holy book said he never owned a simba (boy’s hut).
They will gleefully point at Matthew 8:20, where it is written: "Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head." They will say a man who has never build a simba should not dream of being State House resident.
There will be innuendos about his paternity. Some will point out that he is the son of God and others that he is the son of Joseph. They will wonder how a man can have two fathers and say bad things about his mother, Mary, to prove how unelectable he is.
The messiah will even get it rough should he opt out of elective post and seek one of the plum positions established by the new Constitution.
Mr Ahmednasir Abdullahi will look straight in his face and inquire how many university degrees he has acquired. When the son of man shakes his head, Abdulahi will point out that a man with shallow academic and intellectual depth should not waste the panel’s worth time.
Another panellist will dig into history and remind Jesus that he once allowed his feet to be washed by a prostitute when Simon the Pharisee invited him to dine at his house. He will question the moral integrity of a man who allows his feet to be washed, massaged and kissed by a whore.
Even his temperament will be questioned. They will point at that incident when the son of man lost his cool, picked a whip and chased away moneychangers from the temple in Jerusalem. It will not matter that this was the only account when Jesus used physical force in any of the gospels.
And then there will be the bombshell from a modern day Pharisee. He will say: " You were tried, convicted and sentenced to death over grievous crimes. How can we trust a convicted criminal with the kind of position you’re interested in?"
Even if panellists and the two principals endorse Jesus, MPs won’t. With their phobia of taxes, the famous declaration about giving Caesar what belongs to Caesar will come to haunt the saviour.
At the social level, Jesus will be a very lonely man for getting a partner will be a tall order. This is the tragedy of a man with no fixed abode, assets, wallet, source of income, showbiz talent and swagger, sporting talent or even tongue to spin romantic yarns.
This is the humble man we have waited with great expectations in a world that hardly practices what he preached. May his spirit be born in you tomorrow. Merry Christmas.
