This is Benson’s story:
"I have been married for three years. We have a son. When I married my wife, I was in love, but over the years that love has slowly faded. We have only had sex four times this year and I had to beg her for it.
"After she gave birth two years ago, she just lost interest in fulfilling her conjugal duties. Last year, I tried everything to spice our love life and even suggested seeing a counselor, but she refused claiming we had no problem.
"With time, whatever feelings I had for her have quickly grown into resentment and now, I only stay with her because of our son.
"In February this year I reconnected with my college sweetheart, Susan. After going out for a few coffee dates, our relationship blossomed into an affair. She is also unhappily married and has two children. Susan’s husband is a successful businessman but he is never home. He is always busy at work and never spares any time for her and the kids.
"We meet thrice a week, since her husband is always going on business trips outside town. We are very compatible in every way. We both feel fulfilled whenever we are together. I would say we love each other but the only thing stopping us is our marital obligations.
"My wife suspects I’m having an affair and we have heard many shouting matches about it. A month ago, I decided enough was enough and made the decision to end my marriage. I informed Susan about it and asked her to leave her husband as well so we could be together but she asked me to give her time to decide.
"I gave her time and we did not meet for a month. But last week, when we finally met, she told me she was pregnant with her husband’s child.
"She says she cannot leave her husband because she is pregnant. I am tired of the affair and sneaking around, I want something serious with the woman I love. I really do not know what to do, she has been texting me all week saying that she loves me and when the time is right, we will be together. I just put the phone down — I can’t speak to her because I don’t know what to say. Please advise me."
You need to leave this woman because clearly, by her actions, you are just a nice plaything. She will never leave her husband for you. Married women almost never leave their husbands and the fact that she was sleeping with her husband while she was sleeping with you would leave one to wonder, who else is she sleeping with?
Also if you are truly not in love with your wife, then you should leave her, not because you have a plan ‘B’ but because you have done everything in your power to try and save your marriage but it has not worked.
