Monica Mweseli: Breast cancer did not kill my spirit

PROF MONICA MWESELI fought through the odds and cheated death by surviving breast cancer -  to become vice-chancellor of the 'women only' Kiriri Women's University of Science and Technology in Kenya. She spoke to RHOYDAH NYAMBANE

A woman can go very far if she has support, especially from her husband. I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1990 at a time when my life was at its pick.

My initial reaction was shock beyond words, followed by denial. Of course that was not my first time to hear of the dreaded killer disease. In fact, I knew people, some close to me, who had been diagnosed with breast cancer, but I thought that was something that only happened to other people.

Before then, I had never thought of death; but here I was staring at it in the face. I actually thought it was a bad dream and I would wake up and take a sigh of relief; but I was wrong.

This is when I knew that life is fragile. I looked at my children who were very young then and realised I had no choice but to fight on.

I forced myself to accept the reality and prayed that God would heal me and give me another chance at life, if only to see my children through life.

God heard my prayer. I’m in my 50s now and 20 years down the line, I’m still here and my children are in their 20s.

The stage the disease had reached necessitated quick action by the doctors who recommended surgery because there was no other option. Mastectomy was, therefore, carried out to prevent the disease from spreading further to other parts of my body.

That was another bad experience, where you walk into the hospital a whole person then come out minus one organ of your body. It was difficult for me. But for the support group I joined later, I would have sunk further.

I began to appreciate life and what mattered most to me, which was being alive. I knew I had to embrace life and remain alive for my children and family; with or without all my body parts.

Mastectomy is a hard and painful thing to go through and many of the women who have gone through it feel low and lose their self-esteem. However, if you maintain a positive outlook to life, you move on.

After the mastectomy, I went through cancer treatment. First was radiotherapy, followed by chemotherapy for five years.

Traumatised

The first stages of treatment traumatised me, but I was able to pull through with counselling and family support.

The cancer support groups especially came in strong as they gave me new strength and resolve to move on. The group is comprised of cancer survivors who meet once a week to fellowship, share experiences and support each other.

Knowing that someone will offset your medical bill helps you concentrate on the most important thing — getting well. For this I am indebted to my employer, the University of Nairobi, for paying my huge medical bills. My family could not have managed even if we had sold off all our earthly possessions. I am also grateful to the administration for their support.

Something else that helped me is filling my time and energy with work. I got busy teaching at the University of Nairobi, and it is a job I still do till today. I also got busy with research and publishing.

I remember while in hospital, a nurse challenged us to buy a plot and build a house to live in because she was convinced I was going to recover. Sure enough, I took her challenge to heart, went ahead, bought a plot and started building a house. By the time we completed the project, I had forgotten about the cancer and to my surprise, I was completely healed. We live in that same house to date.

I also thank God for giving me a second chance to live. I have learnt to take one day at a time; I never take life for granted. I value each moment of my life. I also value people better than I did, especially my family and friends.

I am a committed Christian and my faith in God also helped me remain afloat when I could have otherwise sunk deep into self-pity and depression. There were moments I would wake up and the thought that I had cancer refused to sink. This almost crashed me.

But then I prayed to God to see me through the next day and the next... and sure enough He answered my prayers.

My heart goes out to all women with breast cancer. I urge all women to go for screening every month to know their status. If diagnosed with breast cancer, they should pay special attention to the doctor’s advice.

But most important, the woman must accept the results and know there is life after breast cancer. The best way to heal is to go through the treatment. Being diagnosed with cancer is not the end of the world.

I have lived a fruitful 20 years since I was diagnosed. I strive to maintain a positive attitude towards life. I avoid thinking about my problems because there is nothing permanent in life. Every problem, like the breast cancer, will pass; it will not last forever, so I do not spend my precious time agonising. Instead, I do the little I can to lift souls.

Self-pity can be very destructive because it keeps you glued to your sorry past. You can never erase your past; you just have to live with it. That is why I encourage people not to dwell on self-pity and regrets.

I have learnt to thank God for each day He gives me to live. My greatest fulfilment in life comes from giving back to the community — I pay school fees for destitute children, I counsel and encourage people whenever I can, and I do a lot of voluntary work. All these give me a lot of satisfaction.