By Caroline Munene

The journey with my baby, since the inception in my womb has been that of love and hate. I still remember the last months of last year, when I missed my period, twice. I was filled with a mixture of emotions. What if I am pregnant? Granted, I love babies could not wait to get my own. But my boyfriend of three years seemed not in a hurry. In fact, around that time, I was contemplating proposing to him. How would he take the pregnancy news especially seeing the effort we made in precautionary measures?

I mastered enough courage and broke the news, "honey, I don’t know how you will take this, but I think I am…"

"You think you are pregnant?" he cut me short jokingly.

Give him like its hot baby, I thought. "Yes! I think I am pregnant."

"Are you sure it is my artwork?" he retorted and burst out laughing in his characteristic boisterous manner.

When he realised I was serious, he looked straight in my eye, placed his hand in my small belly and moved it in circles. The silence was palpable. I held my breath. Ages later, he said, "tomorrow, we will go see a doctor, for a litmus test, you know." That is my man, using humour in otherwise grave situations.

Sure enough, the test turned positive. I was ecstatic and sad all at the same time. I am going to have a baby! But out of wedlock? Please no!

We are getting married

I worried too soon. I had not stopped to weigh my boyfriend’s reaction. But apparently, he was riding in a wave. When we reached his apartment, he held me in his arms and gave me such a sweet monologue ending with the clincher, "baby, we are getting married, ASAP". Talk of a silver lining in every cloud!

We did not have a church wedding like I always envisioned but I was happy and content to live under one roof with the man of my dreams. The baby grew in the womb and it was such joy but sometimes the morning sickness and the discomfort was unbearable. Today I would be bursting with energy and tomorrow I would lie in bed all day long cursing the day I met my husband.

Then the baby came, a girl. When I held her in my bosom, all the absurdity and clumsiness of pregnancy, and the pain of labour, evaporated into thin air. I was a mom!

But not before the baby blues set in. I had not bargained for the work involved in taking care of an infant. We spent sleepless nights trying to sooth Supuu, as her dad fondly calls her, to sleep. To make matters worse, hubby started coming home late, "honey, I have to work extra hard now that we have Supuu’s future to think about" — I did not see how extra hours would achieve this. Then visitors came in droves, day in day out; they drove me nuts especially when my hubby’s relatives loudly proclaimed, "Wow! She looks just like her father."

no talk

Our relationship, formerly warm and jovial turned sour. We hardly talked, apart to Supuu. Never mind that she could hardly open her eyes, let alone talk. Then when she was three months old, something extra ordinary happened. We were having breakfast and not talking to each other, as usual. Supuu was lying on the sofa besides me. Her dad reached to pick her up, and at that moment she gave a big, toothless smile that soon turned to a giggle and then she started mumbling, sort of talking to us. My hubby’s hands, outstretched towards Supuu, stopped in mid air as we said in unison, "she smiled". Our hands entangled as we both tried to reach for the smiling beauty. We laughed in the absurdity of it all as Supuu continued to giggle.

The experience was amazing, kind of therapeutic. Today, our home is full of laughter, since that day our baby smiled…

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