Are you raising a psychopath? Six behaviours you should be worried about

• You should be worried if your child has lots of aggressive outbursts that are hard to stop
• If your child is antisocial, seem cold and unfeeling, and only show emotions in order to intimidate or manipulate
• If your child never shows remorse, steals from you, or taunts you in ways that show they couldn't care less

Psychopath? Sociopath? We hear these words all the time, especially in movies. They basically mean the same thing, but psychologists prefer the term Anti-Social Personality Disorder (ASPD), which covers a whole spectrum of anti-social behaviours.

 Some of which are actually very common. Like who hasn't thought of doing something awful to an ex?!

Around two to four per cent of us score high for ASPD, around 30 per cent of people in prison - and a lot of political and business leaders...

People with full blown ASPD can be charming, but underneath they're unscrupulous, manipulative, feel no guilt, remorse or regret.

Some of them are highly organised, cold and intelligent. Others are violent and irrational.

Most are impulsive, promiscuous, lack empathy and never commit. And you see loads of them in bars. Brilliant seducers, instantly creating a deep sense of connection.

Asking hugely personal questions, far too soon, discovering and playing to all your fantasies and insecurities.

The worst are cold, calculating killers. Others become brilliant white-collar criminals. Some callously push people aside as they scale the corporate ladder. Others are such skillful manipulators that no-one ever suspects their real personality.

Some are paranoid, volatile and prone to emotional outbursts. Others are calm and calculating, carefully planning every move in order to get what they want. Some are clearly very disturbed.

Are psychopathic tendencies genetic?

The 'callous unemotional traits' and poor impulse control that's characteristic of ASPD run in families, and appear to be largely genetic.

While the violent and disorganised behaviours seem to result from childhood trauma, abuse, rejection or over protectiveness.

Rejected infants see the world as a harsh, unforgiving place, trust no-one, and learn to be aggressive and resentful of authority. Over-protected infants think nothing in the world matters but them.

ASPD adults often showed antisocial behaviour when they were children or teens. Having said that, it's practically normal for children to behave badly, at least some of the time!

So even very badly behaved kids can still grow up to be entirely normal.

Does your child have the tendencies?

But you should be worried if
1. Your child has lots of aggressive outbursts that are hard to stop.
2. Is impulsive and fearless.
3. Or consistently refuses to follow your instructions.
4. Refuses to cuddle you or keep close to you in strange places, or look for you if you're in another room.
5. Makes up violent games
6. Is cruel to other children

And an antisocial teenager is a major cause for concern. Watch especially for

1. Callous unemotional traits such as persistently hurting or bullying others.
2. A preoccupation with violence and disturbing activities on social media.
3. Especially ranting, anger, isolation, disturbed thoughts and fixations.
4. Antisocial teens seem cold and unfeeling, and only show emotions in order to intimidate or manipulate.
5. They break rules, stay out overnight, play truant or run away.
6. They're utterly fearless and endlessly seek out novel and dangerous activities.
7. Always blame others. Show no guilt when told off. Have a complete disregard for other people's feelings, and the possibility of punishment. And are highly motivated by what they'll get out of something, even if it hurts others.
8. Be especially concerned if your teen never shows remorse, steals from you, or taunts you in ways that show they couldn't care less.
9. Can't see things from another person's point of view.
10. Is cruel to animals, or constantly in trouble with the police.
11. Future ASPD's don't just misbehave. They constantly hurt people, and are cold and calculating.

What can you do?

Don't panic if you see anything like this. But you must get help from an experienced professional. This isn't something you can tackle effectively on your own.

Your child will need specialist help with their impulse control, emotions, social skills and empathy.

And you will need help developing the right parenting techniques for a child with behavioural issues. Like making sure they see your values in everything you do.

Such as respect for others, and kindness. Having really clear expectations for their behaviour, and enforcing them. But by using positive reinforcement, rather than punishment.

So instead of having shouting matches about your child's bad behaviour, you just say 'I don't like you doing...' and withdraw your attention. As soon as they stop, turn back, and start acting normally again.

So they only get your attention when they behave normally. It's hard to do to begin with, but it really works.

Getting them to attend school regularly is also important, because school creates a feeling of progress.

And promises a better future if you work hard: like you'll get into college if you get good grades, or if you work at your football skills you'll get a sports scholarship.
None of this will be easy.

 Many times you'll feel like giving up. But with lots of calm, consistent parenting, and good professional support, things will get better.