Photo:Courtesy

Kukaliwa by your wife may have different meanings. But these are probably the simplest indicators:

1. Carrying handbags, taking, waiting and picking her from the salon

2. Tabling your entire salary for her to gawa

3. Coming home early, accounting for every second (and friends) 24/7

4. Being forced to post mushy love messages and pictures on social media

5. Putting up newspaper adverts (or calling press conferences) and car banners with her photo declaring your undying love

6. Taking her everywhere (including the green grocer’s), changing diapers, doing household chores.

7. Being sent to buy sanitary pads, washing her ngothas

8. Funding and hosting her relatives while yours wamebaki kwa mataa

9. Building a house or living where she wants in Banana, Muchatha, Gachie, Wangige Wanyee or Kinoo

10. Being beaten, sleeping on the sofa or nje kama lorry

-Irvin Jalang’o