1. Know that men have emotions too. So many think that men are emotionless.

2. Give him peace, don't shout at him, talk down at him, abuse him or insult him. Make him feel safe.

3. Ask him how he is, many men long that their woman will care to find out.

4. Understand his background, this will help you know his silent inner struggles.

5. Don't share private information he has shared with you with your family or friends; doing so will make him feel exposed.

6. Touch him, cuddle up on him, place your head on his chest, rub his back. This makes him feel needed.

7. Ask him how you can be of help, let him tell you what he needs.

8. Kiss him on the cheek or forehead or shoulders; this gesture tells him "Honey, I am here."

9. Don't pressure him to talk when the environment is not conducive. He will only feel ambushed.

10. Appreciate him for the good he does, notice his efforts. This will make him feel valued.

11. Brag about him in his presence and before others, this will make him feel that you are proud of him.

12. Pray for him in his presence. This kind of act can take you straight to a man's heart.

13. When he is opening up, don't cut him short. Listen.

14. Apologise to him when you wrong him. Some women rarely apologise and think it's always the man's fault.

15. Do not accuse him falsely; this will only crush him.

16. Do not flirt with other men or entertain them. He might not say anything when you do but he will slowly withdraw.

17. Don't be threatening to quit or to divorce each time there is an issue or because you want to bring attention to a matter. Doing so will only make him feel abandoned because you act like you are always ready to leave.

18. Don't over-think or come to conclusions that misinterpret what he said. He will speak less to you for fear of being misunderstood if you are a woman full of baseless assumptions.

19. If you are turning down his request or you are not up to love making, don't just tell him "NO". Let him know why and assure him you will please him soon, perhaps the next day or the next hour after you are done with work and make sure you follow through. Don't push him away or make him feel rejected.

© Akello Oliech and Dayan Masinde

In my book, MANHOOD SERIES, I walk with men towards understanding themselves and help women to understand men.

In my other book, WOMANHOOD SERIES, I walk with women towards understanding themselves and help men to understand women.
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To purchase the MANHOOD SERIES written by Dayan Masinde, MPESA Ksh. 200 to 0721590954, then text the word MAN and your email address to the same number and the book will be sent to your email address for you to download and read on your phone or computer.

To purchase the WOMANHOOD SERIES written by Dayan Masinde, MPESA Ksh. 200 to 0721590954, then text the word WOMAN and your email address to the same number and the book will be sent to your email address for you to download and read on your phone or computer.